Taking Responsibility Versus Blaming
We have reached #15 in our list of “15 Powerful Things Happy People Do Differently.”
Our final #15 deals with the source and use of personal power. In this I mean that happy people acknowledge the great power they have to take charge of their own lives, and they also learn well how to use it.
Unhappy people, in contrast, tend to see themselves from a place of victimization – as in, “this is happening to me,” “s/he did that to me.” These things may actually be true, factual statements, but as we saw in #14, it is the feeling behind the reality that determines whether we head to the left or the right on the happy-unhappy spectrum.
I really like this statement from “15 Powerful Things”: “They [happy people] choose to keep their power and take responsibility for everything that happens to them.”
It seems like the ultimate irony that, in this power-hungry world we live in, few amongst us realize how many of us so freely give our share of the power away.
We can – and deserve to – do so much better for ourselves. By recognizing the power that we have, we can claim it. When we claim it we then must learn how to use it. We may make one or several missteps during our learning curve, but if we persevere, ultimately we can feel for ourselves how much more satisfying it is to take a proactive stance towards life’s unfolding – and how much happier we can be when we relax into a felt competence to manage our own lives well.
We can then empower others to do likewise.
However, we can never force another person to be happy, get healthy, put their finances or family relationships to rights, maximize their own potential, or make this world a better place. But we can, by our own example, highlight that these things are possible.
Taking responsibility is also a very respectful action – in doing so, we respect ourselves, and we respect those around us. We own that the spot we are standing in is OURS – it has been reserved for us for the balance of our lifetime, we have (obviously) claimed it since we are standing in it, and we have every right to do whatever we like with it and within it.
That is pretty much just the super-coolest thing I’ve ever realized.
And right about now, I am feeling very, very happy indeed.
Today’s Takeaway: Are you claiming your space? Are you using it the way you dream of using it? Why or why not? It can certainly be quite scary, especially when coming from a place of blame and shame, to begin stepping up and taking responsibility for your life and what has, is now, and will occur in it. It is often a good idea to seek support and help from wise and inspiring others who are already doing this well while you learn. Take help if you need it – and ask for as much help as you need. But just make sure you don’t cheat yourself out of the awesomeness of taking responsibility for you and your own life. You won’t regret it – I promise!
Cutts, S. (2012). Taking Responsibility Versus Blaming. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 29, 2015, from http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mentoring-recovery/2012/08/taking-responsibility-versus-blaming/