I may be an anomaly here, but I have not yet found a way to get to acceptance without going through resistance first.
This is why I found the 2nd item on the “15 Powerful Things Happy People Do Differently” list so intriguing. Or impossible, depending on when you ask me and what the particular situation I am facing may be.
The writer of the article does concede that resistance is futile. Of course, I already knew that. But what I didn’t know is that there is a positive as well as a negative way to view the presence of the thing I am resisting.
For instance, asking questions like, “Why me – what have I ever done to anyone?” is pretty much a guaranteed downer. But if I rephrase the question (pretending I am one of those “happy people” who naturally do all these things right the first time) to ask, “Hmmm…isn’t this situation interesting – what might I be able to learn from this that will be helpful to future-me?” Well then, that has the potential to change everything.
I can feel that. Truly I can.
I’m not very skilled at actually doing it yet, especially since I didn’t know it was even an option until right about now. But I can feel how this simple perspective change shifts the playing field in my favor. I am acknowledging there is a problem in need of my attention, taking a pro-active stance by setting my intention to investigate and learn, and already visioning a solution coming from this pro-active stance I have chosen to take.
That feels much better than sitting in the corner whining.
Although whining feels pretty good too sometimes, especially if I can lure someone sympathetic into that corner with me to listen.
Today’s Takeaway: The next time you feel yourself resisting something in your life that you really really don’t want to happen, try pulling your own power play on your resistance. Shift your perspective towards learning what you need to learn and getting out quickly thereafter. See if you feel less burdened and more inspired by this approach.
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Last reviewed: 2 Jul 2012