One of the most difficult lessons I have had to learn in my ongoing quest to explore the fullness of who I can be free from shame, blame, guilt, disordered eating, alcohol abuse, anxiety, depression, codependence and all other manner of life-limiting activities is that I deserve kindness.


So do you.

We can take heart that no matter how great the teacher becomes, they start as the student, with the most basic lesson to master being how to offer kindness to self and the world.

It is a lesson that my mentors, and now my life coach, continue to reinforce to me. They often have to remind me of it. Nearly equally as often they have to be that objective voice letting me know I’m not treating myself very kindly.

This is painful, but very helpful too.

I thought I would share a message I recently sent out to a group of folks who receive a monthly eating disorder support newsletter I publish called Good News for Eating Disorders Recovery.

I hope you enjoy it!

You Deserve Kindness

As the years continue to pass, I have noticed an interesting phenomenon unfolding in my life.

As the challenges get tougher, I get softer.

I have learned (with the help of many mentors, coaches, and teachers) that softening towards harsh words, upsetting emotions, struggling relationships, and the ever-present fear of the unknown can awaken a whole new kind of strength, patience and positivity I never knew I possessed.

I don’t have to mud-wrestle every challenge that comes along.

I don’t have to fight fire with fire.

I can use the gentleness of water, the softness of compassion, the connection of empathy, to ease my way through even the fieriest days along my way to becoming a wiser, sweeter, friendlier, more likeable me.

You can too.

You deserve kindness – no matter what life has handed you.

You deserve kindness from yourself – even and ESPECIALLY when you are not receiving it from others or the world at large.

You are worthy – and worth – kindness – and you will transform into a person so awesome you won’t be able to believe your luck if you can just begin to offer yourself even a small bit of the full kindness you deserve.

This month, remember – you deserve kindness.

You do.

You really, truly do.

Today’s Takeaway: How would your life improve if you sent a bit more kindness your way? Would you be able to be kinder to others as well? How would your stress level react? What is in it for you to turn the ship around and do the hard work of creating a kinder inner (and outer) world?



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    Last reviewed: 29 Feb 2012

APA Reference
Cutts, S. (2012). You Deserve Kindness. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 1, 2015, from



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