A few days ago I got this email from one of my mentees –
If I had a dollar for every time over the past few days I have heard [my eating disorder voice say to me], “You’re not sick enough. . . .you don’t need recovery. . . .stop trying, it won’t work, I am the only thing that works. . . .don’t waste time you could use for doing homework on such meaningless tasks as going to see a dietitian. . . .” and so on, and so forth, the list continues. Just really trying to cope with all of this in a healthy way, you know?? It is so tempting to just cave and listen to ED and do what he tells me to do.
Yes it is. Which is why those of us who have suffered with an eating disorder can relate so well to the struggle she describes. The “Ed voice”, as we call it, talks and talks, and we listen. The more we listen, the more it replaces any other voice we might give airtime and consideration to.
At some point, it becomes our mentor.