Archives for Medications

Bipolar II

39

I refer to my 20’s as the Roaring 20’s cause for the majority of it, I was living in New York in a hypomanic state which looking back was pretty wild. However, sometimes I miss that time. I was hyper social and alive and...
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Bipolar I

Preparing for Seasonal Depression

I suffer from seasonal depression, and every Holiday season I start to worry that a depression will take hold, and I won't be ready for it.

My depression has started to creep up on me and it's not even Thanksgiving yet. Luckily, I went to my psychiatrist to see about increasing the milligrams of my antidepressant, which is very alarming to me cause I have never wanted to increase my medication.  If anything, I'm always trying to lower...
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Bipolar II

Med Compliance: Mother VS Daughter

I’ve always been super med compliant. For over decade every day, twice a day, I have taken my pills. Often times I would get a call from my mother and somewhere in the middle of the conversation I’d hear, “You’re taking your medication right? You have to stay on your meds.” “Yes Mom. I am taking my pills.”

She was always serious when she brought up my mental health, and her tone would change when she discussed my...
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Bipolar II

When Medication Makes You Fat

Sometimes you just wake up fat one day. You don’t know how it happened. You don’t know where it came from. You’re just fat. So, I blame it on my medication and quit my anti-depressant today. My diet and work out regime is pretty steady so all I can really truly blame is my meds. And it makes me mad, sad and confused. The worst part is I really liked the medication. It makes me...
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Bipolar II

When Side Effects Implode

I realize that I am at a crossroad in life and it kept me up the other night. I realized that I have no sex drive and am sauntering through life like a normal person. Welcome to planet earth!! I have always been an alien and liked it with a crude hatred at the end of the day. But, without a sex drive, and feeling normal, makes me wonder: Do I want to be regular?...
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Bipolar I

Fat Check: Med Control V

Hell no I didn’t take the med. I am on a roll here, but the guilt is building. I feel like I am cheating or lying to my psychiatrist by choosing to not take it and knowing that I am going to have to report that on my next visit only makes it worse. Of course the ramifications of quitting my antidepressant after being on board with it for weeks have not and will not rear its ugly head for a few more weeks but, like I’ve said all along, it makes me feel better to think that I am stopping potential weight gain. And, to be honest, I am going to New York for my birthday in a couple weeks and refuse to feel fat. Similar to Los Angeles, NYC is a skinny city with no mercy when it comes to body weight.
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Coping Skills

Fat Check: Med Control Part I

I started an antidepressant several weeks ago, which happened to be around the same time Lent started and all those chocolate Easter eggs hit the shelves everywhere. So, I ate chocolate, which is usually the devils sin so have always stayed far away but, I indulged more or less.  Not a crazy amount, but Easter hit my ass, legs, thighs, and stomach. Or so I think. Or so maybe the new med added to my list of medications packed on a few pounds everywhere.
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Bipolar I

It’s Hard to Go to Your Psychiatrist

It’s a hard thing, for me, to go to my psychiatrist. I know it’s coming on the calendar, and I dread it. I actually forget the date and have to call my psychiatrist and leave a message:

“Hey Dr. I think my appointment is on Thursday the 15th….at 2:30? If i'm wrong call me back, otherwise I’ll be there at that date and time.”

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve left that message. I have...
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Bipolar II

Depression Part VI: It Was My Period

It was my period. That was the reason I lost it last weekend and plummeted into a terrible bed glued depression. I didn’t understand most of the technical psych terms my psychiatrist used when he tried to explain it to me but thankfully, now I know, I am not crazy, I just need to watch out when the next menstrual cycle comes around. I don’t recall ever having this problem in the past when I was on the same antidepressant so this is all new to me. I went into my session knowing that he wasn’t going to change my meds cause I guess I am doing better then our last session. It’s hard to know what to say when you see your doctor. You want to squeeze as much information in the expensive time you have to get answers and positive results and that alone is a stress. But all you can do is do your best to retell the stories you lived through since you started taking a medication and hope it’s enough to help your shrink monitor your behavior.
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