I skipped my psychiatrist appointment today.  Well, I rescheduled it. My relationship with my shrink is hard to figure out. I hate going there, but feel better when I leave.  He’s not my therapist, he’s my med patroller.  So, I don’t have to get into the ugly dirty stuff, but it bleeds out here and there during our sessions.  Sometimes he’s like my psychotherapist.

So, I ditched the appointment and was driving with my significant other and thought, he doesn’t know, he doesn’t know I skipped my appointment, why should he.  Should he?

No, cause he doesn’t know what’s up, or, why I decided I didn’t want to go so, there’s nothing to report. 

A recent article published on Yahoo Health has caused some major controversy in the mental health field.  The article titled, “DSM-5: Will Millions More Americans be Diagnosed with Mental Illness?” discusses, in a nutshell, the following:

The impending publication of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition (DSM-5) has kindled fiery debate about whether Americans are being vastly over-diagnosed with mental illness or if Americans are psychologically sicker than they used to be.

The new “bible” of psychiatric diagnoses, which will be released later this month, includes new disorders relating to grief, childhood temper tantrums, binge eating, PMS, and painful sex (now called genito-pelvic pain/penetration disorder), among others. It has also changed how existing conditions—including oft-polarizing ADHD and autism—are diagnosed.

According to the new definitions the DSM-5 uses, some experts predict about 50 percent of U.S. citizens could be diagnosed as “mentally ill” at some point during their lifetime.

Experts and organizations have given their two cents on the whole thing, but I am interested in the viewpoints and stories of people who have actually grabbled with their mental illness. When I published my tell all book, “Inside the Insane” about treatment of the mentally ill in LA County hospitals, a lot of people were not happy with my insight, and said I wasn’t a “clinician” so my views were not valid. Ah, no.  Try living with a disease and experiencing it firsthand.  You can’t get that insight out of a textbook ok.

There are months that we can go through depression, and, days in those months that can hit harder than others.  In my experiences of episodes of depression, I have been able to track my depression by following the seasons.  Winter always seemed to plunge me into a depressive state, and within that episode there are days that are worse than others. But, if you can try and track how seasons affect your mood, you might have a better chance of preparing for it, and treating it more efficiently.

Here are two examples of times I was stuck in a seasonal depression with days that highlighted my state of mind. 

 Poem: DECEMBER

I don’t want to leave my bed

Because I don’t want to dress

I’m not happy with my body

I don’t shop

Don’t want to enter a room with florescent mirrors

Deep ascension into a deeper cycle of self

There is a reason it was called “Sex and the City” and was based in NYC.  Before my diagnosis of chronic hypo mania aka Bipolar II, I was not a sex addict per say, but definitely engaged in maniacal sex. Living in a city like New York, coupled with hyper sexuality, resulted in maniacal sexual behavior.  Not good, but I refer to it as the roaring twenties, since I wasn’t diagnosed and treated until my late twenties.

I’m not ashamed of my previous lifestyle cause I was sick in my disease, however, looking back there were signs of maniacal sexual habits that could have helped me get help much sooner than later.

Here are 5 signs to consider that you might be engaging in maniacal sex:

1. One Night Stands – You wake up in bed with someone you barely know. 
2. Patterns – The amount of sex you engage in mirrors your mood.  So, if you are experiencing a manic episode, expect to find yourself engaging in acts of maniacal sex which, if you recognize during your episode, you can try and slow it down a bit.
3. Dates – You date multiple people at once, and have trouble committing to one person.
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Women have been met with double standards for a long time.  They are expected to have a career and be a super mom, and seem to have a harder problem finding a mate unless they are double degreed and can cough up a decent income yet, are expected to drop everything when they get married and start a family.

Now, we seem to have a whole new double standard among us.  The Stay at Home Dad aka SAHD.  No problem! That’s awesome!  You are so great to stay at home with your kids!

But wait, women that want to be a stay at home mom are frowned upon?  Yes, in most cases they are.  Just like the double standard women face to be a supermom and have a successful career, women are not given the same reaction and attitude that a stay at home man seems to enjoy.

Why is that?  How is it possible that we celebrate STHD’s and sing a different tune when it comes to STHM’s?

Maybe all these double standards started with our patriarchal society, and somehow we never managed to free ourselves of that ideology so, opinions are still implemented and carried out by men so, of course if a man wants to stay home it’s alright. It’s welcomed.

When we start a new relationship, we can encounter bumps in the road.  When things are fresh and new, sometimes we have a hard time managing issues that arise, so, we don’t make sound decisions that normally we would.  This can put us in a bad spot when we do come to our senses about things and now have a choice to make: Do we dig up the past, and communicate our feelings that were not expressed at the time, or, do we just let the past be the past, and move forward knowing from now on we’ll do our best to express ourselves when issues arise?  Is there such a thing as take backs in relationships?

When hindsight is 20/20 do we revisit those bumps, or just let it be?

It’s complicated. I suppose if we can’t mentally move forward without addressing problems in the past, then we have no choice but to address those concerns.  So it comes down to how much are you mentally obsessing over the past, and if it’s impeding your ability to be in an honest relationship, you might just have to clean up the past so you can move forward free from mental exhaustion.

Your mind will be the barometer of what you can take, and will  be the ultimate decider.

Couple on couch image available from Shutterstock.

Most of us work hard, some of us too hard.  And there are days when we need a break, so it is important to allow yourself what I like to call a mental health day.  If you don’t take care of yourself, you truly can’t take care of your responsibilities at work.

Here are some signs it is time to take a mental health day:

1. Your Desk – The sight of your desk makes you take a deep breath cause you don’t feel like sitting at it.
2. Your face – Take a good look at yourself in the mirror and your face will tell you it is time to take time off.
3. Your Co-Workers – Your colleagues will know if you are not feeling it so, it is best to remove yourself from your work, and allow yourself to breath.

Now, you’ve decided to take your day off.  Now what?  It is imperative you maximize your time.

Do not let the following weigh you down:

1. Guilt – Don’t feel guilty about taking a day off from work.  Guilt ruins the whole point.
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Side effects from medications are inevitable, however, when you couple side effects with a hard time in life, things can go awry.

I lost my hair last year.  I can’t blame it all on the antidepressant I took to help curb depression, because I was going through a rough time in my personal life.  During this time, I wrote a lot of poetry as a coping mechanism.  Recently, I looked at some of my work and it made me thankful.  It made me proud that I took a tough time in my life, and was able to honestly express the feelings you endure when you experience bad side effects.

Here are some poems if you’ve ever lost your hair.

POEM: ZOLOFT

I think I am losing

My hair.

Is it a sign of

Depression?

Or

Of the anti-depressant

I’m ingesting?

Why is my hair

Thinned

To

Thinner

To

Thinned out. 

Communication can be tough, even among family.   Some families have individuals walking around with a mental illness, and don’t even know it.  Some do know it, but tend not to discuss it.  Just like when your doctor asks you about your medical history, cancer, heart disease etc… It is crucial to know your families mental health history. Here are some questions to consider addressing with your mother this Mother’s Day.

7 Questions to ask your mom if she suffers from a mental illness:

1. Did your mom or dad have any signs of mental illness?
2. When you were pregnant, did you stop taking medication?
3. At what age did you get diagnosed with ____?
4. How long did it take you to find the right medication for your illness?
5. What was your life like before you were diagnosed with your mental illness?
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Some of us have a pseudo-marriage to our phone, that can borderline unhealthy.  We’ve all seen people that “forget” to turn off their phone, or can’t help but check it during inappropriate times.  There is a time, and place, to check our phone, to pick up your phone, and to text someone with your phone.

Here are 12 occasions and situations that are not okay to take out your phone:

1. On a first date – Do you want a second date?
2. On the treadmill – Are you sweating on your phone?
3. During your child’s recital – How many hours did your child practice for their big moment?
4. During a meeting with your lawyer – How much are you paying for their precious time?
5. During a medical examination – Papsmear with your phone? Ah, no.
6. While driving – Check out the price of that ticket!
7. In the shower - Cleaning yourself comes second to a text?
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