Coping Skills Articles

Depression Part VI: It Was My Period

Friday, November 14th, 2014

shutterstock_206136703It was my period. That was the reason I lost it last weekend and plummeted into a terrible bed glued depression. I didn’t understand most of the technical psych terms my psychiatrist used when he tried to explain it to me but thankfully, now I know, I am not crazy, I just need to watch out when the next menstrual cycle comes around. I don’t recall ever having this problem in the past when I was on the same antidepressant so this is all new to me. I went into my session knowing that he wasn’t going to change my meds cause I guess I am doing better then our last session. It’s hard to know what to say when you see your doctor. You want to squeeze as much information in the expensive time you have to get answers and positive results and that alone is a stress. But all you can do is do your best to retell the stories you lived through since you started taking a medication and hope it’s enough to help your shrink monitor your behavior.


Depression Part V

Thursday, November 13th, 2014

shutterstock_197496518Well, tomorrow is the big day. My first psychiatrist appointment since he prescribed an antidepressant for me, and I am not sure what to tell him. I’ve been trying to track how my antidepressant has affected me these past several weeks and, to be honest, it’s all a confusing mess between seeing good things, experiencing bad things, and finding no changes in my mental health at all but some movement, I think.

So, I had two weekends that I was social and managed to leave my place. Then out of nowhere this past weekend I couldn’t get out of bed and cried uncontrollably over external difficulties with the plot of my life like a breakup that continues to haunt me (and I really screwed up cause during my crying episode I called him after months of being strong and staying away), hardships at work that are only getting worse, and fighting change when I desperately need but change is hard for me. But these challenges have always been the case so I can’t say external issues caused the crying, but this crying was bad. It didn’t stop and I couldn’t place it or understand why now? Did I screw up my med dosage?


Depression & Self Medicating

Tuesday, November 4th, 2014

shutterstock_108101000It’s the second weekend since I’ve seen some changes in my behavior since I started my antidepressant, most specifically, my social life. Last weekend I went out dancing and this past weekend I really went out dancing. A friend of mine invited me to some DJ dance party in the Arts District in Downtown LA. It was one of those warehouse parties where you walk down an unknown alley and a bouncer stands by a door, stamps your hand, and the doors open to the scene. I am not a “scener.” The last time I was at a huge house dance party I was in my early twenties living in New York. I was not yet diagnosed with Bipolar II so found myself going out all the time and dancing out all my mania.


The Beast Is Back: Depression Part III

Monday, October 27th, 2014

shutterstock_220397773Well, I guess the antidepressant is starting to work cause I made it out for the first time in a long time. Manic, no, but I ended up at a club by myself at a hip hop party. Awesome. I sat at the bar and took in the scene and the next thing I know I was dancing. Was anyone else dancing? No. But I got the party started. I didn’t even change from my work clothes before I decided to go out. I had on an orange top, black pants, and Michael Jackson shiny moonwalk shoes with white socks. I closed down the club. I went home and saw the clock and it was 2:30 in the morning. I don’t recall the last time A: I went out dancing and B: Went to bed past midnight. So I woke up at a reasonable hour and went to take my meds and the antidepressant stared me down.


The Beast Is Back: Depression Part II

Friday, October 24th, 2014

shutterstock_200321435It has almost been over a week on my new antidepressant and it’s getting easier to open the pill box and take it. Not perfect, but I’m trying. I skipped a couple days which I know is bad but I waffled on taking the whole thing to begin with so I needed to take baby steps. However, this week I was more diligent about keeping a daily routine of taking them and did my best to fight the feel I get when I have to open the box. The stupidest thing I did was look up all the side effects. I prefer not to know.


Lunch With No Hot Sauce

Tuesday, October 21st, 2014

shutterstock_78443332Well, I started taking a new medication for depression. So far, so good, until bam, lunch with no hot sauce. I was at lunch with a new coworker and was trying to put hot sauce on my sandwich and my hands started shaking. Everyone at work knows I’m bipolar which causes me to be paranoid to begin with. Now I have new medication with new side effects. I quickly put my sandwich down and hoped that my coworker hadn’t noticed but, quite frankly, what would anyone say to me in that situation. I stared at the hot sauce and frowned.


The Beast Is Back: Depression

Monday, October 13th, 2014

shutterstock_159385295The beast is back. I had a good run though, and I’m not sure how it happened. Well, that’s a lie. My environment hasn’t been the healthiest one. I keep running into my ex, which is terrible cause things did not end on the most amicable terms. I am really burned out at my job and have had other external factors to play into the beast. The beast: Depression.

I’ve spent the last couple weekends finding it hard to leave my bed. Not my place, my bed, which is way worse. I finally broke down and made the call to see my psychiatrist before our scheduled appointment.


ABC’S “Scandal” and Mental Illness in the White House

Tuesday, October 7th, 2014

A recent episode of ABC’S Scandal featuring the First Lady of the United States Millie Grant (played by Bellamy Young) showed the First Lady suffering severe depression. One scene entails her sitting at the White House in a robe, no makeup, no pearls, and eating fried chicken. She had previously exhibited odd behavior in earlier episodes, however, in this particular scene sheer depression took center stage in the plot line and the audience got a chance to see how even the wife of the President suffers from depression. It was refreshing. Most current political dramas lack a look into the sadness and struggles one undergoes when depression takes hold, however, here we have a woman enduring pain for multiple reasons.


12 Signs of Sexual Depression

Thursday, October 2nd, 2014

signs-sexual-depressionDepression manifests itself in a variety of ways. Recently I have found myself sexually depressed and, although it has been a challenge for me, it has taught me that sexual depression is a real thing. 

Here are 12 signs that you might be suffering from sexual depression:

  1. You don’t feel like masturbating
  2. The thought of foreplay with your mate sounds laborious to you
  3. You choose to wear worn out underwear when you have a drawer of fresh ones that are fun and sexy
  4. You think drinking red wine and smoking a joint is gonna fix things
  5. You wear the same bras on a regular basis; no variety whatsoever
  6. You don’t enjoy a nice bath and relax with your sexy body, you just take a quick shower and get it over with
  7. You don’t fully dry your sheets or make your bed on a regular basis cause who cares? You’re sleeping alone anyway so
  8. You buy new high heels and leave them in a box and shove them in the corner of your closet
  9. You think nostalgically reading your first erotic book (for me “Forever” by Judy Bloom) is going to help return your sex drive
  10. Walking by or seeing a hot guy or girl bores you
  11. You wonder if you forgot how to kiss
  12. You consider watching porn for the first time in your life in a desperate attempt to try something new, foreign, and different.

“An App To Diagnose Bipolar Mood Swings By How People Talk On The Phone”

Tuesday, September 30th, 2014

shutterstock_194353091Recently an article published at Co.Exist.com, a site that focuses on groundbreaking innovation, published an article entitled “An App To Diagnose Bipolar Mood Swings By How People Talk On The Phone.” It discusses a system that detects early signs of a bipolar patient slipping into a manic episode. After reading the article, I thought about how my voice on the phone during a manic episode, or during a depressive episode, would decipher whether or not I would reach out to my loved ones, or not. For me, when I was in a manic state I was more inclined to pick up the phone and ramble on and on about the on goings of my life.


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