Bipolar II Articles

Bipolar II: Walking & Talking

Monday, August 25th, 2014

shutterstock_153875291Some people used to think I was a jerk by the way I walked. If I were with a friend I would walk which, according to them, was speed walking. “Slow down” would often scream out of their mouths. I would have to stop in my tracks turn and wait, or sometimes walk back to them and continue on doing my best to stay with their stride. It was annoying, but I get it. I didn’t want to be rude. Then there were times I would walk down the street alone, or in a store. People would walk at their pace which was slow motion to my spinning legs. My irritability, also a symptom of hypomania, would take hold and I would get irate at the pace of most people walking in front of me.


Your First Mental Break

Tuesday, August 19th, 2014

shutterstock_187172138At some point in life, those that suffer from a mental illness, will experience a first mental break. It can result in a hospitalization, or an epiphany from circumstance that allow you to seek help. First mental breaks come in all shapes and sizes and they are unique to every individual. I think it is important to share our experiences of a first mental break for it better allows a forum of discussion and education that is so needed for people suffering from mental illness, or know some one that does.

Here is my story, a true account taken from my book “Inside the Insane.” I hope you not only learn something, but share your own personal experience as well and by doing so maybe help others out there going through their first break, or those that are about to…

CHAPTER 2 – THE BREAKTHROUGH MOMENT

It all unfolded pretty fast. One day I was walking down the street and every step I took was a terrible feeling of being in my own skin. I walked by a display window and caught a glimpse of myself. It didn’t look like me.


90210, Sex and the City: Reading the signs of depression

Sunday, August 3rd, 2014

90210..What

You know you have problems and you might be depressed when you are watching Sex and The City reruns (2008) and Beverly Hills 90201 reruns (2009). The numbers are not when anything aired but when I was lost in depression and watched it.


My Cat Has Fat Cheeks: How Learned Behavior Effected My Adulthood

Thursday, July 31st, 2014

The Fat ManMy fat cat cries in the middle of the night and it drives me crazy and all he wants is food. I’m not home during the day so feel bad like he is starving or something so leave him food, come home and he cries so give him food, then go to sleep and he starts to cry again and the only way to stop him is the feed him. It’s terrible.

Growing up my parents had a hard time saying no to my sisters and I, and food was never sparse in the house. If I wanted something I’d cry and, most of the time, my Mom would give in and give me whatever I wanted.


The Rebound: The Post Relationship Relationship

Tuesday, July 29th, 2014

shutterstock_78391027When a relationship fails, and you find yourself back out there, sometimes it is hard to decipher if your next relationship is a rebound. It’s not like you can put a clock on when a rebound is a rebound, or when it’s not? You break up and you’re alone for two months? A year? Seven days? Does it depend on how long you were in that previous relationship, or, does the intensity of a relationship determine how much times it takes to get over it? There are no clear answers to these questions, but recently I considered the idea of what constitutes a rebound. Sounds confusing, it is.


Understanding Quasi Depression

Tuesday, July 22nd, 2014

shutterstock_158393051Depression rears its ugly head in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes our depression isn’t obvious. You don’t have to be stuck in bed for days to be considered depressed. Unfortunately we don’t always know we are in a quasi depression until it’s over, and we look back and recall the signs that we might have missed. Hind sight is always 20/20 but if you pay attention to slight changes in your behavior you might be able to better manage your mental health.

I was quasi depressed about a year ago. The quasi depression was written all over my body. I found myself wearing the same clothes everyday: torn jeans with a rotation of the same shirt just in different colors. I stopped keeping up with personal maintenance like waxing my eyebrows or plucking unwanted hairs.


Living With Extreme Behavior

Monday, July 14th, 2014

shutterstock_189637469Before I was diagnosed with hypomania I lived a life of extremism. I found myself running around like a Tasmanian devil, however, once I was diagnosed and properly medicated I really didn’t have excuses to do anything so excessively anymore. But, sometimes behavior doesn’t change despite medication to help curb symptoms. Does it come done to intensity that accompanies mania, or am I just exercising a behavior that is simply a part of my personality; a behavior that no pill can manage or reduce.


You Are Mentally Ill Vs. You Have a Mental Illness: Knowing the Difference

Tuesday, July 8th, 2014

coatYou are something or you have something. What is the difference and what does that mean to you and the world we live in? How do people respond to language that communicates a mental illness and what is the difference between you are X or you have X? For example, I am diagnosed with Bipolar II. Some people say “Oh you have manic depression” or “Oh you are manic depressive.” Recently, I pondered this slight twist of diction in a sentence because there is a difference. When someone says you ARE something it tends to define you. You tend to think of yourself as the disease when really it is simply one aspect amongst a long list of attributes that constitute our being.


20 Things That Cause Anxiety

Tuesday, July 1st, 2014

blue_shirtWhether it is big or small, most of us experience anxiety. It can be a long dark anxious cloud or a short moment of piercing anxiousness but, whatever form it takes, it’s terrible.

Here are 20 things that cause me anxiety: 

  1. The clock when I am trying to fall asleep
  2. Family events when I don’t feel like myself
  3. Skipping the gym
  4. Searching for my keys
  5. Running into my ex
  6. Checking to make sure the door is locked
  7. Taking a test
  8. Running a red light
  9. Public speaking
  10. Attending a funeral
  11. Being low on toilet paper
  12. Forgetting a birthday
  13. Thinking I forgot to turn off the stove
  14. Being low on gas
  15. Being called in to speak with the boss
  16. Getting bills in the mail I know I haven’t paid
  17. Waiting too long to take out the trash
  18. Checking my email when I haven’t in awhile
  19. Committing to something weeks in advance
  20. Forgetting to take my meds

 

What causes you anxiety?

Anxious man image available from Shutterstock.


Misdiagnosed and the Undiagnosable

Tuesday, June 24th, 2014

pillsWe rely on Doctors to scribble our life into a notebook then come up for air and say: You are Bipolar, you have Major Depressive Disorder, you are Hypo Manic, you have this, you are that.

Some of us are misdiagnosed or, we are undiagnosable. The education of mental health is not concrete. There are new illnesses being studied and formed on a constant basis. This can cause years of strain, stress, frustration, and anger. Anger, especially when you finally get a correct diagnosis, and then you have to find meds to temper that diagnosis, which is a whole other story, and an entire new battle.


Inside the Insane
Check out Erica's book,
Inside the Insane

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Recent Comments
  • Erica Loberg: I miss my hypomania too sometimes Desiree.. and i feel like i’m more prone to depression also...
  • Pamster: It wasn’t until I read this that I realized that BP II was part of the reason I walk so fast, zipping...
  • Desiree Cart Dugas: Every thing you said is me or has happened to me. What has curbed hypomania is the mood...
  • JourneyUpward: Oh, I totally can relate to this although I never connected it to my being bipolar. I find that a very...
  • already came out: This morning on the radio they were discussing how this “homeless teen” is from Oregon....
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