Archives for Bipolar II

Bipolar II

The Experiment

The experiment is beginning to rear its ugly depressed face. The experiment was to quit my antidepressant in an effort to lose weight I gained from the medication with the intention of going back on it when I was back to my normal size.

But I think it kind of blew up in my face. I’ve lost weight, which is good, but I feel the fallout of choosing my body over my mind in all this.

I am...
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Bipolar II

When You Make A Deal With Your Psychiatrist

I did it. I am done gaining weight on my antidepressant so made a deal with my psychiatrist. My psychiatrist thinks I am doing much better on my medication (which I agree) but I can't swallow the fat anymore so I proposed a compromise. The plan is to lose the weight, then go back on the medication, which I think is a great idea cause I actually feel better on it. So this deal makes my mission...
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Bipolar II

When Medication Makes You Fat

Sometimes you just wake up fat one day. You don’t know how it happened. You don’t know where it came from. You’re just fat. So, I blame it on my medication and quit my anti-depressant today. My diet and work out regime is pretty steady so all I can really truly blame is my meds. And it makes me mad, sad and confused. The worst part is I really liked the medication. It makes me...
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Bipolar II

Naked Not Private: A Hypo Manic Thing

I have no problem being naked, in fact, I feel freedom when I’m free from my clothes. Is that a symptom of chronic hypo mania? I just might be. Especially when you compare other behaviors that shape Bipolar II. You put yourself out there with no shame, especially during a manic episode, and often times as a result, you find yourself in compromising situations. Recently I thought about the times I was living in New York...
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Bipolar II

Sexless In The City

I don’t have a boyfriend, the days of friends with privileges are over, I’m not into one night stands, so what am I supposed to do? I am in my late 30’s and my sex drive has escalated to the point where I find myself needing sex more so than ever before.  And the irony is my mood stabilizer and anti-depressant is supposed to lower my sex drive so I am very confused, lost, bewildered and...
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Bipolar II

Tell a Story that Begins with a Random Note

One of my old friends gave me this book called “Writers Bock” over a decade ago. I’ve never experienced writers block but I randomly picked it up while cleaning my bookcase and opened to a page that said, “Tell a story that beings with a random note.”

Weird. Very weird cause yesterday I was cleaning out my desk and saw a random note that I forgot about. It was from my college crush that I reconnected with...
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Bipolar II

“You’re Too Sensitive!!” Understanding Your Child’s Sensitively Level

When I was a child, I didn’t know that my hyper sensitivity was a possible symptom of Bipolar II disorder. Little things would set me off, and I would find myself uncontrollably crying for what others believed to be mundane things.

I specifically recall getting in a squabble with one of my friends and she said “You’re too sensitive.” Telling someone they’re too sensitive is like telling them they have too many freckles. It was hurtful and...
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Bipolar II

Understanding Long Term Depression

When it comes to bipolar disorder, oftentimes people think of a pendulum that goes back and forth and back and forth on an equal playing field. People may think the ebb and flow of living with manic depression is equal. It’s not. Some of us experience months of depression that we try to fight our way out of, but sometimes there is a long term depression that can last a year, or more.
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Bipolar II

Understanding Bipolar II

Recently I’ve come across individuals (more so than usual) that aren’t really educated in Bipolar II. Like most mental illnesses, stigma usually takes front stage by people who have little to no education on what exactly a mental illness entails, and what it is like to live with one. It is a complicated, and often times, misunderstood disease which I will do my best to describe.

I have previously compared Chronic Hypo Mania to a Tasmanian devil...
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Bipolar II

When Side Effects Implode

I realize that I am at a crossroad in life and it kept me up the other night. I realized that I have no sex drive and am sauntering through life like a normal person. Welcome to planet earth!! I have always been an alien and liked it with a crude hatred at the end of the day. But, without a sex drive, and feeling normal, makes me wonder: Do I want to be regular?...
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