I call it Project Thunderstorm (P.T.) I am single, again, and ready to just do me. I had to put a title to it to get it going and ramp up. I went shopping for new clothes, took on some new writing projects, and P.T. was ready to go.
Unfortunately, when you become single again, it’s an adjustment, however, my recent fallout with my ex has resulted in some poor behavior. Back in the day when I was manic and single I had a lot of wild nights out on the scene. I was living in New York with no clue I was Bipolar II and would often times go out till the break of dawn, sleep two hours, then somehow make it to work. It was bad. There were nights I would be manic out in the streets going to this bar then that club then that restaurant then end up at some ridiculous party with randoms. Truthfully, however, I always managed to make it home. Yes, there were some blurry nights but I was too reckless to even worry about it.
Now I am too old to be reckless. Project Thunderstorm is great, when it is kept under control. Even with my mood stabilizer to calm my hypomania, I still get a little out of control. Getting back out there hot off a breakup is good. Being single and ready to take on the world is great, but, I am finding myself with nights where I am whirling around town like my single New York years. I’ve come to realize that being in control has always been a struggle for me because I have always led a life of extremisms.
P.T. can apply to several aspects of life when change is on the horizon. If you are going through changes in your immediate life it is important to check yourself. If you find your behavior similar to a time before you got help take a step back. If you find yourself not 100% sure what you did last night or how you got home maybe it’s time to rethink things. I’m all about P.T. but a part of P.T. is learning from your mistakes, about taking charge of your life, and finding new memorable experiences.
Loberg, E. (2014). Fallout Blackout. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 28, 2015, from http://blogs.psychcentral.com/manic-depression/2014/04/08/fallout-blackout/