computerWith all the social media avenues like Facebook, LinkedIn, twitter, tumbler, it is really easy to track down old lovers or people from our past that we were once in a relationship with at some point in our lives.  Sometimes this puts us in a predicament.  Do I respond to their friend request?  Do I reply to their email?  Obviously it depends on the circumstances and the content of their attempt to reach out, and it is easy to become confused about how to respond.

Here are some questions to ask yourself:

Where were you mentally and emotionally in your previous relationship with that person?  Did it end on good terms?  Was it ugly?  How did you feel about yourself during the time you were together in the relationship?  How do you feel about yourself now?  What has changed?

Usually after a break up you go through changes that result in becoming a renewed person.  You’ve moved on from your past, and now you find yourself reminded of those days.  It is easy to quickly click, yes, I’ll be your friend, or reply to an email without thinking it through.  Is that the best thing for you? Is nostalgia going to get the best of you?

How will your spouse or significant other feel about it?  You might come across jealousy or insecurities which can deter your decision on how to proceed.  It is important to be sensitive to your partner’s feelings.  Are you going to tell them your EX contacted you?

With feelings of immediate gratification and the fluidity of social media, often times you can act impulsive, and not stop and think about the repercussions of your actions.

When an EX attempts to come back into your life, be careful.  Think it through.  Think about your emotional and mental health. Is it healthy for you to open that door?

Take all these things into consideration and follow your instincts.  These days with social media, it is too easy to find people.  It happens to everyone all the time, and the effect this will have on you and your current relationship must be thought out, and taken into serious consideration.





Did you call me

Or even try to


Back in my life.

I want to

Know why

You want me

After all these years.

I cried

I smiled

I loved


Woman on computer image available from Shutterstock.



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From Psych Central's World of Psychology:
Best of Our Blogs: July 12, 2013 | World of Psychology (July 12, 2013)

    Last reviewed: 11 Jul 2013

APA Reference
Loberg, E. (2013). Social Media: When Your EX Contacts You. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 1, 2014, from


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