POEM: HER VOICE
She’s the voice of love
She’s your best friend.
That voice that hits the beat of your abdomen.
And smiles in your chest.
You know when you have been a bad friend. You know before it’s voiced, cause the guilt you carry from knowing you are not there for your sibling, or friend, has been alive inside for awhile.
When you drop off the planet, you know that there are repercussions. Or do we? The lucky ones have a person, or people in their lives that hold on when things are rough. They understand you are depressed, or isolative, or manic, or unable to be a constant friend yet, the feelings of letting them down for not picking up the phone, not responding to their texts, not opening the door, carries on with you in your life.
And it’s damaging.
At some point, people are going to stop trying, and you have to be prepared for that. First of all, it’s only temporary. You have the power to reclaim your life, and your friendships. During the stint of isolation, or simply being a bad friend, the thing to worry about is guilt. When you exit people’s lives cause you are depressed, or feel ashamed cause it has been awhile since you’ve made an effort, the guilt grows. You don’t returned calls or texts, or any extension of someone reaching out, cause the guilt boils. For whatever reason you have to be a recluse, know it’s coming. The guilt will start to grow and fester cause you know you should be a better friend, or brother, but you’re not.
It’s that simple.
Eventually your loved ones are going to get tired. Again and again they try to reach out, to nothing. So know that being “cut out” for a while, is only fair. So what do you do about it? You’re loved ones are there for you when you need them regardless, but how can they be there for you when you’re not there?
It’s not fair to expect resiliency from your sister cause you are sick. Be honest with yourself, and don’t make personal excuses for not going to lunch. Don’t let guilt drive you down. Don’t let guilt stop you from mending bridges that have dwindled. Let guilt be your friend. If you feel the anguish of guilt, then you know you have control over the situation, to some extent.
Be honest with yourself. You already feel bad about the fact that you’re bad at communicating. You carry that cross because you let it hang on your shoulders.
Figure out a way to re-enter someone’s life. They did their part. Now, it’s time to do yours.
Woman standing on the shore image available from Shutterstock.
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Last reviewed: 27 Jun 2013