Never underestimate the power of friendship when it comes to managing your mental illness. Taken from a Chapter of my book, here is a story of a true friend.
JOURNAL ENTRY – THE BREAKTHROUGH MOMENT
I don’t think there is ever one breakthrough moment. I do, however, think bits and bits of pieces, days, nights, weeks, months of living in hell do eventually catch up with you. For me, my moment wasn’t planned. It was one of the strangest, greatest, monumental moments in my life that was really a collection of dark times I’ve had for years.
It all unfolded pretty fast. One day I was walking down the street and every step I took was a terrible feeling of being in my own skin. I walked by a display window and caught a glimpse of myself. It didn’t look like me. My brain had finally detached from my body and was ruling it, making it hard to find a way for them to co-exist together. I started crying uncontrollably and could feel my skin crawling on top of my hot blood. My mind was a complete pulsating blur and it emotionally hurt outside, finally. I called Sloan in a state of heightened trauma and bled through the phone.
“I can’t take it anymore.”
“Where are you?” I could hear the panicked concern in her voice.
“I can’t take it.”
“Where are you? I’m coming to get you.”
“No. I can’t. I can’t take it.”
“I can’t live in my skin anymore. My brain has melted it.”
“I am coming to get you, are you home?” And like a switch I turned.
“I’m fine. I’m OK. I have to go.” And I hung up, never thinking how hard it must be for my friends. I was so blessed to have friends that held on, especially when I couldn’t. I walked back home and decided somehow, some way, I was going to get help.
-Inside the Insane
Building relationships with friends and family that understand your condition can be a challenge, yet, are crucial to your process of recovery. When I began to spiral down, my friends were there. They were there in the beginning, and have remained Steady Eddies to this day. Sometimes I feel bad for my friends because I don’t want to be a burden on them, however, it is important to know your friends are your friends for a reason. Those that stand by you, especially in your darkest times, are the ones to hold onto.
Concerned man on the phone image available from Shutterstock.
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Last reviewed: 20 Jun 2013