threepeople

FAMILY LUNCHEON LOS ANGELES, CA

“You got it from your mother’s side of the family.”

It came out of my father’s mouth before the waiter even put down the chopsticks. He smiled and meant it in a friendly let’s break unbreakable ice manner but underneath that comment was a blame game that seemed to free himself from any connection to the connection to mental illness. My mom sat silent. Somehow someone was going to be blamed and it wasn’t going to be the Loberg gene stream. I wouldn’t change my brain, or switch genes. After everything I’ve been through, and all the ongoing internal carnal manic magic I’ve lived in, I’m grateful. I’m not ashamed, unlike the long line waiting for centuries behind a family member suffering from a mental illness.

“Maud”

By Lord Alfred Tennyson

What! am I raging alone as my father raged in his mood? Must I too creep to the hollow and dash myself down and die.

It was as awkward as awkward would be given the fact that my parents now had a child that was diagnosed with Bipolar II and they came from a generation that really didn’t know anything about this condition and if they did, they sure as hell is beneath schizophrenic feet not speak of it.

Excerpt from “Inside the Insane” 

Daughter in the middle image available from Shutterstock.