darkwintercrpdThere are months that we can go through depression, and, days in those months that can hit harder than others.  In my experiences of episodes of depression, I have been able to track my depression by following the seasons.  Winter always seemed to plunge me into a depressive state, and within that episode there are days that are worse than others. But, if you can try and track how seasons affect your mood, you might have a better chance of preparing for it, and treating it more efficiently.

Here are two examples of times I was stuck in a seasonal depression with days that highlighted my state of mind. 


I don’t want to leave my bed

Because I don’t want to dress

I’m not happy with my body

I don’t shop

Don’t want to enter a room with florescent mirrors

Deep ascension into a deeper cycle of self


The sand falls fast

Darkness engulfs me

I breathe in white air

That turns black in my mouth

Ascending down my throat

Into the abyss of my stomach

A void covered by rolls

Of fat that hide it.

Backwards efficiency.


Ruby Saturday

Smooth sailing through the weekend

On your couch full ass

A small coma

On your face

Under your skin

And steps to action aren’t written down

So when the morning hot sun

Doesn’t hit the leaves

On your balcony trees

But the sun now softly


On the green leaves

Lies comfortably

On the stem

It’s dusk              

Falling into night

And you are still there

In that chair


When will it change


To reflect the outside time

Of the sun

Traveling on the street

Falling across

The neighborhood

Like a half circle moving in perfect circumference.

Dark winter photo available from Shutterstock