couplecouchcrpdYesterday I was watching a TV show (which will remain anonymous) and it featured a couple living in a major city with a well-furnished apartment.  One of the partners spends their day trying to come up with the next big idea, while the other one has no job. The show more or less is about their relationship which I find hard to understand or believe cause they have no income and no one brings up the fact that neither of them actually work.

THE FALL OUT

It’s shows like this that send the wrong message to kids.  It fosters an idea that you can live a certain life style with no job.  And this is not the only show that displays this ridiculousness.  They are all over television.  Characters sit around in the middle of the day.  The girls have full-blown make-up.  Make-up costs money.  How are you making it when you more or less hang out all day?

The power of television is scary, and when we target a younger generation with shows that manifest this kind of life style, you feed garbage into the eyes, ears, and tongues of an impressionable generation.  And the fall out of this message is apparent:

Kids these days do not want to work.

I look around and see a young generation living in Lalaland.  People in their thirties also fall into this trap. They want things, clothes, cars, money, but have little drive to make it happen.  And it’s not even drive, they don’t do the necessary steps to get where they want to go.  We got a lot of big talkers and big dreamers and it’s time to wake up.

Let’s talk about what it means to be a Realist.

THE IN-BETWEEN GOALS

It’s the in-between goals that make the big goals happen.  It’s not just about making goals, and executing them, it’s the in-between goals that get you there. Sometimes our goals are farfetched and we write them down, and they stare us down, cause we don’t have the know how to obtain them, and make them real.  Move move move forward. It’s the in-between goals that make our goals fall into place.

For example, let’s say you want to break up with your girlfriend and have been planning it for weeks but can’t seem to do it. Make a tiny goal to try and spend more time with yourself doing “me” things.  Let’s face it, when you finally manage to do it, you’re going to be alone, so start getting used to it now and more manageable when it actually happens.

For example, you want to lose ten pounds.  Ok.  How are you going to do that? Stop eating cheese and walk more.  Two tiny goals totally manageable and doable.  You pick a food you love that is not healthy for you and cut it out.  Easy. Walk to your local cleaners, the car is for the freeway.

Make tiny goals to meet your goals.  It not only motivates you, but it pulls you up and up every minor goal you make that, by then, you’re big goal won’t even be a big deal.  You’ve been there, done that. NEXT!

IDEAS

Ideas are great, if you execute them.  Don’t sit around thinking about the next big thing.  Start making moves to achieve the next big thing.

IMMEDIATE GRATIFICATION

People want things and they want it now.  What is it like to need immediate gratification in the new age?  You get to fast-forward to the best part.  Sounds nice, but, you are in effect capturing a dwindling moment.  The caffeine boost is going to blow up in your face when it runs out.  Try working on your sleep habits.  A tiny goal you can exercise every day and curb the idea you can take a shot of espresso and wake up.  Immediate gratification is short term. Anything that is immediate is just that, immediate, then over.

I hope I’m not offending any of the youngsters, but, you need a reality check and guess what, you’re parents are a problem too.

Parents need to stop thinking their kid is going to go to Harvard but can’t wipe their own ass.  And I am serious.  Parents need to teach realism to their kids.  Kids watch TV.  Point out the stupidity of shows that are not realistic.  Kids are going to watch TV anyway, so might as well do it some good and explain the fantasy some shows live in.

ENTITLEMENT

Kids feel entitled and the parents cultivate this behavior.  If your kid is living at home with no job and has an Iphone 5 something’s wrong there.  Kids have all this technology at their fingertips and the parent’s often times pay for it.  The kids that are working hard aren’t walking around in expensive clothes.  They look like regular people, and maintain a life style that they can afford.  They are realist.

Be realistic with your children.  Be realistic with yourself.  A dream or goal without hard work is simply a wish.

Erica

Couple on the couch photo available from Shutterstock

 


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    Last reviewed: 17 Mar 2013

APA Reference
Loberg, E. (2013). What it Means to Be a Realist. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 21, 2014, from http://blogs.psychcentral.com/manic-depression/2013/03/16/what-it-means-to-be-a-realist/

 

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