Spring time is a nice time to observe changes see new growth.  The green comes back in the grass and tress and you see many beautiful flowers coming up.  A beautiful sight after months of snow.  It reminds me a lot of changes that clients go through after months, or years of using drugs and/or alcohol.  After a period of “storms” and “cloudy days” they begin to bloom new behaviors and start to make changes to their lifestyle to encourage new growth.

One of the things about the spring time is that there are many thunderstorms.  I don’t really like the storms and tend to get anxious when there is very loud thunder and when the siren goes off in town.  Isn’t it a similar thing with life?  Spring=new beginnings, thunderstorms=trials?  This analogy reminds me that even during a beautiful period of your life, you can face trials that you need to overcome, and that change is very constant.

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I am happy to finish the second part of this post as I am excited about the great information that was presented in Heidi Grant Halvorson‘s book Nine Things Successful People Do Differently.  If you did not get a chance to read Part 1 of this post you can find it here.

Here are the other 4 points highlighted in this book.

6.  Have Grit

“Grit is the willingness to commit to long-term goals and to persist in the face of difficulty.”  In order for us to make changes or to work towards goals that might seem difficult to reach, we have to be committed to the task.  ”Grit is all about not giving up in the face of difficulty, even when you’re tired or discouraged or just plain bored.”

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They say good things come in small packages and I would have to agree that 9 Things Successful People Do Differently by Heidi Grant Halvorson is a perfect example of this.  I wanted to share the inspirational words in her book with you as she talks a lot about goal setting.

Here are five of the nine points that were highlighted in her book.  In part two of this series I will discuss the other 4.

1. Get Specific

With regards to setting goals, ensure that they are not too general or broad.  Set specific goals such as walk an extra mile each week, instead of saying that you want to increase the number of miles you walk.  As indicated in this chapter, “taking the time to get specific and spell out exactly what you want to achieve removes the possibility of settling for less-of telling yourself that what you’ve done is good enough.”

2. Seize the Moment to Act on Your Goals

It is not enough to just want to get more done or be successful, it requires action and requires us to take advantage of opportunities as they come our way.  Halvorson reminds us that “wanting to be productive isn’t enough to actually make you more productive.  You have to find a way to deal effectively with the distractions, the interruptions and the fact that there is just way too much on your plate.”

3. Know Exactly How Far You Have Left to Go

When we are setting goals and working towards a target, feedback can be very helpful and can provide good guidance.  ”When you are assessing your progress, stay focused on the goal and never congratulate yourself too much on a job half-done.  Save it for a job well-and completely-done.”

4. Be a Realistic Optimist

Simply put, know thy boundaries!  Be aware of what your goals are and be mindful of what it takes to achieve them and if you are in a position or place in your life to do so.  Halvorson encourages us to “cultivate your realistic optimism by combining a positive attitude with an honest assessment of the challenges that await you.”

5. Focus on Getting Better

It is difficult to take on the role of a perfectionist and expect to have a stress-free journey.  Remember that it is progress and not perfection.  ”Embracing the fact that you can change will allow you to make better choices and reach your fullest potential.  People whose goals are about getting better, rather than being good take difficulty in stride and appreciate the journey as much as the destination.”

I look forward to completing this series with you and further exploring how we can do things differently and set healthier goals.

Photo credit to Amazon

Engraved on a medallion, I saw the words “Fear is the thief of dreams” and I have come to believe this saying.  We probably have experienced fear at some point in our lives and know what it’s like to have that weird feeling in your tummy when things are not going right. That feeling is a great place for us to learn a lot about ourselves and discover the strengths that we have even in the midst of the weaknesses that surround us.

I believe that fear is a thief because when we are fearful, it removes the positive emotions and leaves us empty and bombarded by other negative emotions.  Here are a few examples of the things that fear can steal from us:

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As I was reading through the Encyclopedia of Counseling 3rd Edition by Howard Rosenthal, there was a quote that caught my attention by Satchel Paige, Baseball Legend, and it says “how old would you be if you didn’t know how old you were?”  This got me thinking and reminded me that it’s the same concept when we are searching for personal growth.  We cannot know where we are going, if we do not know where we are.  We can’t know the right steps to take if we are not aware of what steps we are taking right now. Awareness is key.

It’s always a great moment when a client’s eye lights up because they have gained insight.  They become aware of changes that need to take place, they become aware of and can identify what unhealthy behavior looks like and can now identify healthy alternatives.  What makes this such an important event is that they discover where they are, so that they can search for the right path to take them where they want to be.

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It can be very difficult at times to take a little time off from our busy schedules, but let’s face it:  we need to. Many of us have a family, full time job, probably going to school or doing other classes, continuing education and the list goes on.  It can be hard to find balance in what seems to be a very unbalanced life.

A personal time out means that you can give yourself permission to have some “me-time” if not daily, weekly, monthly.  I know that our schedules may not allow us to have a full day or weekend off every week, but can we grant ourselves at least 15 minutes or 1 hour?  After all, just like a plane needs to be re-fueled in order to fly the other trip, we too need to re-charge our bodies in order to continue carrying on with our responsibilities.  When our energy tank is reading “E” it’s time to pull aside and re-charge!

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A few months ago I was heading to a seminar that was a 4 hour drive away, and decided to  take up the advice of a friend who suggested that audio-books make the journey less painful.  So I got two audio books, one of which was A Weekend to Change Your Life by Joan Anderson.  My 4 hour trip was not as long and dreary and I came back to town not only with information from my seminar, but also a lot of inspiration thanks to this book!

These past few weeks have been challenging and at times it felt like a positive change was no where to be found.  I decided to head to the local Library and borrowed the hard copy of this book.  I am thinking that I should own a copy as there were so many words of inspiration that was needed then, and even more so now.  It’s one of those books that should be on your night stand or bookshelf.

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The first time I experienced an Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meeting and was exposed to the 12 Steps was during my Undergraduate program for a class in Substance Abuse Education.  One of the requirements of this class was to attend at least 2 AA meetings and write about our experience.  The next time I was exposed to AA and the 12 Steps was when I began my Internship.

The treatment facility where I work (which is the facility I completed my internship at) is a 12 Step based program that encourages clients to incorporate the concepts of the 12 Steps into their recovering program.  These 12 Steps act as a guide for those who are on the journey of recovery and the principles of these steps are reinforced through attending AA meetings, having a Sponsor and developing a healthy relationship with the recovering community.

The 12 Steps of AA are as follows:

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings

8. Made a list of all persons we  had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all out gifts

Some individuals tend to feel discouraged as the word “God” is mentioned, however I encourage my clients to think of their Higher Power (whatever that may be) when they work on the Steps.  The program of AA was founded on religious principles, which would explain the focus on prayer, meditation and the mention of “God.”   You can read a lot more about the timeline and history of AA on their website.

I hope that these 12 Steps can have a significant positive impact on your life, whether you are in recovery or not.

Stepladder image available from Shutterstock

“And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.  When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation-some fact of my life-unacceptable to me and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.”  Alcoholics Anonymous (2001).  Big Book  4th Edition .

 

I like to know that when I give my clients an assignment that I am familiar with it first, or that I do it with them.  So when my clients talked about their struggle with acceptance and I gave them Acceptance Is The Answer (Pg 407) from the AA Big Book 4th Edition (large print) to read, I read it as well.  It was then I understood the power behind the stories in the Big Book.

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I sometimes have clients who are interested in incorporating aspects of their spiritual beliefs into treatment.  I learn a lot from clients and their beliefs, either in what exists or what does not exist.  I learn to appreciate their view of  faith or Higher Power and I have learned not to judge those beliefs, but instead to ask them to share more.

In her book Battlefield of The Mind: Winning the Battle in Your Mind by Joyce Meyer, she talks a lot about how addressing our thoughts can help improve our life.  Meyer is an established Christian Author and Bible teacher who shares her word through various ministries.  Although her book is written from a Christian perspective with several references to scripture in the Bible, Meyer shared information that even those who do not subscribe to her faith can relate to.

Meyer described our minds as battlefields and stressed the importance of our thoughts and words and how they impact our lives, whether in a negative or positive way.  Meyer suggested that “our actions are a direct result of our thoughts.  If we have a negative mind, we will have a negative life.”

I shared this book with a client in the past who identified “God” as the Higher Power and was at the time, struggling with replacing negative thoughts with positive thoughts.  It was a constant battle to let go of the negative thoughts and the client was very open about discussing how  faith in the Higher Power may help with the struggle.  The book provided valuable discussion points for the client, and I would like to share some of them with you.

* Our past may explain why we are suffering, but we must not use it as an excuse to stay in bondage

* You cannot have a positive life and a negative mind

* It’s easy to quit; it takes faith to go through

* Your mind plays an important part in your victory

* Often the real problem behind a lack of comprehension is a lack of attention caused by a wandering mind

* It is absolutely impossible to worry and live in peace at the same time

* Judgment and criticism are fruits of a deeper problem- pride

*Your future is not determined by your past or your present

* Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting

* We need to learn to enjoy where we are while we are on our way to where we are going

One thing that I enjoyed about the material in Meyer’s book is that it reminds me a lot of the concepts of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) developed by Dr Aaron T Beck.  Changing thoughts from negative to positive or from unhealthy to healthy can improve your life and help you make a positive transition.  Although it is true that not all changes are easy, some are necessary.

What are some things that have helped you move from unhealthy to healthy thoughts?  What strategies can be used when faced with a mind that is a “battlefield”?

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