Back in 2002, while deciding whether to relocate to the west coast from the east, my boss made a spot on observation.

During one of my many, vocal wrestling matches with the decision that needed to be made, she exclaimed : “Geeeeze Leslie, I have never, ever met anyone that can WHAT IF themselves into a corner like you can'”.

She was right.

It is actually painful for me to make most  decisions. At least the medium to large variety.

As I look back, it seems it was easier to let the wind blow me or let circumstances make my important choices for me and determine my actions.

I do not know why but gonna go out on a limb here…I  suspect it has something to do with FEAR.

As an example, watch me come apart here: (I’m already breaking out in a sweat)

What if my boss Googles me and finds my blog?…What if she reads any one of these posts and what if she thinks I’m crazy? And what if I lose my job?!? What if  can’t afford rent and food?? and then and I have to live in a VAN down by the RIVER??? Pass the brown paper bag!

And so goes a never ending dialogue that lives within me. The subjects change – the process does not.

I have always said that I live my life “sitting on a fence” and it’s not the best, or I believe, the healthiest way to do it.

And my perch on the fence has robbed me of opportunity and confidence.

Everyone is afraid of something, I might be just be afraid of everything but mostly, of making mistakes.

The What-If  frenzy keeps you planted firmly where you are; safe, on the fence. Or is  it?

(in part 2, we’ll look at possibilities for managing the What-If gremlins)

 

Photo Credit: C-100-Today’s Best Music