A wise therapist, many years ago said to me: “Well, it’s quite simple Leslie. Your picker is broken. Your antenna isn’t working.”
OK, I’ll bite.
I paid $100 to the nice lady with the PhD then spent the next 20 + years trying to fix my damn Picker.
And here I am now, on Psych Central, asking my kindred spirits WHY, oh why do we keep choosing partners that are not healthy/not a great match/ or downright toxic…you can fill in your very own blank here…. _______________________ for us?
This question both frustrates me and makes me laugh out loud at the same time! And though each of our answers are as unique and personal as snowflakes, I believe the answer is right in front of each of us. It’s the solution that’s the buzz kill.
The answer isn’t the most important piece of the puzzle; we can all get a multitude of answers with 1 quick download to our Nook – or a trip to the bookstore or few hours with a Therapist.
The solution, as far as this wise, experienced, could-CLEP-out-of-any-MSW-course woman sees it is that it’s about building a bridge between our hearts and our heads. Connecting that ‘inner child” (yes, there, I referenced the IC) to our intellect. Now where is that Staples Push Button when we need it? “That was easy!”
Yeah, right. Aint nothin’ bout any of this is easy!
We need to search, as hard as this sounds, with our head leading and the heart close behind. I believe then and only then, will we find ourselves enveloped in the relationships that are good and healthy and impossibly rewarding for us.
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Last reviewed: 8 Mar 2012