Guess where I landed ?  ….at the online dating crossroads again.

There I was, minding my own business, when I received an e-mail offering me joy and forever happiness for just $29.95!  Seizing the moment (clearly a not well thought out moment), I logged on and whipped out my credit card as visions of princes danced in my head.

In the one month that I have been “doing” this, I’ve gone out with 3 men, one who I was particularly drawn to.

Two of these men chose not to move on to a second date.  Apparently, they decided this before I even got the chance to stop swooning from the first date.

I was too busy looking at all of their charming, appealing and positive attributes and ignoring any possible red flags being strung up right in front of me.

I’m quite used to being alone but the one time it is absolutely no fun at all is when I’m sick. I go from independent wonder woman to big baby in 60 seconds.

On Wednesday, I white knuckled it through a morning dental visit (complete with 3 Novocain injections) and by noon, I was simply miserable.

I have to go into the office to “make a couple of calls” and while I’m  at it, my co-workers will see how flushed I am – how disheveled I look . They’ll see what a trooper I am.. so dedicated; coming into work when I’m clearly so very sick.

I wasn’t in my office 15 minutes before I heard an escalating chorus of “…poor thing…go home and rest…don’t be silly, we’ll get it done…go home and take good care of yourself…”

Repeat: And take good care of yourself.  In other words, nobody else to take care of you, so you do it. Kind of reminds me of the movie  Airplane in which Leslie Neilson asks a distraught flight attendant how she’s holding up to which she replies “Ok, I suppose..I’m just glad I have a husband.” Sigh.

You’ve met them. They’re the couple that can’t keep their hands off one another. The ones who can’t stop themselves from telling the tale of how they first met. So that nobody misses a thing, they tell it over and over ad nauseam.

From the very moment they met, with absolute certainty she knew he was her “soul mate” – and he knew they were destined to spend the rest of their lives together and beyond.

Please pass the Pepto.

I mean really.

At some crossroad in my past, I surrendered the Knight-In-Shining -Armor theory….he rides in on his white horse, swoops me up and carries me away to Happy Ever After.

Little house, white fence, 2 kids, 1 dog and afternoons spent being taught tennis by our country club’s resident pro…a little lunch and shopping with the girls before whipping up a perfect dinner and waiting for my perfect husband to get home to me and our perfect kids and dog.

Poof! Aint gonna happen.