Archives for January, 2011
I have felt lousy and wiped out today. Have you? Or did you yesterday? Or will you and I feel tomorrow? Sometimes, that old time feeling envelopes me and I cannot identify why. I can't uncover a reason and I can't seem to shake it - forget about the fact that I don't have the energy. What I learned long ago was to listen to what my body, spirit and soul are trying to tell me (and in some cases, screaming at me). Bla, bla, bla, right? But if I pay attention to - If I honor how I am feeling, the answer eventually presents itself. I am sad because of it - which makes me angry, no furious at it. How dare you rob me of my weekend?
This is the last of 3 excerpts from some of my mom's writings. The walls of the school were hung with an assortment of mommy portraits...Cute...Clever..Darling....must remember to compliment the teacher. Tugging my hand, "C'mon Mom, c'mon, Mom..right over there where all those people are standing!" And there it was,....a stark naked female figure complete with a mop of crayola orange hair on her head! Since that is one tough act to follow, it is some source of pride to me that it won first place. Yesterday, I awoke to the following note written this time, in blue crayon... "dere mom, yu wre tacin a nap i dint want to brothr you so i m at barbrbs house if you need me for a merjinsy, peas be tu you an i luv yu. There's no getting around the fact that our mother was very, very ill... Manic Depressive, addict and I suspect a victim in too many ways as a child.