photo credit: alykat

I recently completed Elin Hilderbrand’s book The Island which was one of happiness, friendship and sister/daughter relationships – in my viewpoint – a celebration of them all.

Chess, one of Elin’s characters, suffered a terrible loss. The way in which Chess expresses her depression moved me to tears. Personally, I believe the author hit the proverbial nail on the head.

 “Chesse’s heart slammed in her chest. This was depression: the constant urge to escape herself.

To say, I’m done here, and step out of her life.

She had thought that “depression” would be like sitting in a rocking chair and not being able to make it move…that it would descend over her like a fog turning things fuzzy, coloring them grey.

But depression was active, it paced back and forth wringing its hands…

She couldn’t stop thinking…find her way free from apprehension. Everywhere she turned, it was there…

She felt like she was swimming through an endless jungle of seaweed.

She felt like her pockets were filling with rocks: she was growing heavier and heavier, she was sinking…

She didn’t have the energy to commit suicide. She was doomed to sit, mute and useless.”

I share this excerpt with you in hopes that my readers might not feel so isolated – so unable to describe how they might be feeling.Please  Know you are not alone.

photo credit: Dr DAD

Anyway, across the House of Blues, I swear to you – He looked

I peeked down my Summer-Of-2010 bucket to see what remained from the list. I say this because with all the fall advertisements, store windows and back to school frenzy, I must accept that summer will one day come to a screeching halt. Since I’m in New England, the very next moment will bring a white out and temps that have a “windchill factor” attached to them. So what’s left in my bucket…

• Attend my first clam bake on the beach
• Go to Cape Cod and Martha’s Vinyard
• Have a summer love
• Wear a bikini

And so I didn’t do all of the things I wanted to do but the things I did tick off the list made me quite happy…

If life is all about relationships, then how I treat the people I am in relationships with defines a huge part of  my well being.

One of the very best feelings I get is when I can say Thank You to someone. Even if I don’t share a deep relationship with the person and it’s just a polite “Thank You,” I know I’ve done good! I need the person to know that I value what they have done for me. My heart always feels lighter and happier when I can express myself in this way.

Saying thank you to anyone who is “checking me out” (I wish I didn’t have to differentiate for you but I’m referring to when I pay for a good or service) is simply a given. Having been raised in the south, it’s ingrained in me. If I didn’t say thank you, I would get the look – you know the one, the look from your mom or dad or teacher that said you had better ________ (fill in the blank!) right now or else…!

I can’t find my socks. As a matter of fact, I can’t find my keys or my way home half the time.

I have spent a great deal of life’s precious moments (you know the ones. They’re stamped on magnets and greeting cards and they “take our breath away?”) exasperatingly looking for things. I’ve wasted perhaps even more of the precious little moments trying to solve problems that were born out of my failure to organize and plan.