“Shangri-La” is a mystical utopia paradise that does not exist…Well, unless you’re Bipolar and have a lot of manic episodes.  This utopia can quickly turn into mania and you may feel the endless energy; filled with what the French call “Joie de vivre“ or Joy of Life, we may be in a constant elation.  While this is not true of all mania, it sure does sum up a lot my manic episodes.  Although, that was when I was in my teens and early twenties.

Then my time in Shangri-La La land turned more into Hypomania. It was still characterized by persistent and pervasive elevated euphoric times but the irritable mood, rapid thoughts and “eccentric” behavior took the forefront.  My moods became more and more of a mixed state. That is when the Depression like being in Davy Jones’s Locker took hold.  I would be able to deal with it for some time without being medicated.  Mostly because I did not know what I was dealing with so I just self- medicated the blues away with Canadian Mist (whiskey).  That lead to other problems which is very often the case when you self-medicate.  My behavior was getting more and more violent and I walked around like a ticking time bomb.

Walk for Mental Health Awareness – Mental Health Heroes

I got the month off on the right foot, drawing 11 heroes and their children at my local NAMI walk. I wrote about this day in my post entitled: Mental Health Matters – Mental Health Heroes.

I was honored once again to have this blog post mentioned on Psych Central’s World of Psychology blog: Best of Our Blogs: May 10, 2011 (May 10, 2011).

Words of the Wisdomless: End to Start:
“It’s only at the end we find a new beginning.  Since everything ends and everything begins then why bother starting only to finish and have to start all over… It’s bit redundant to me.”

It’s October in just a short few hours away. Gosh, I wish I had something inspiring to say but that is not the mood I’m in right now.  Let me share with you one of my favorite cartoons.  It’s good for days like today when you’re feeling like things are NOT going right. 

Man, there is nothing that makes me feel more worthless and just stupid than my spelling and grammar! When you read my blogs, you might not think I have a major problem.  In reality, it took me years to improve my basic writing skills.  I’m dyslectic!  That diagnosis was given me back in 1979.  Today, I think it would have been ADHD.  Reading and writing is a CHORE for me!!

Even now, my spell check has given up on me!  To understand the embarrassment and horror, you would really have to walk in my shoes…In a world powered by data and information, it’s “crucial” to express yourself clearly in the writer world.  When I was 13, my reading level was only 3rd grade. It didn’t help that while growing up, my father called me “stupid” and belittled me at every chance!  It’s no wonder I’m crazy!

I remember this one time, while he asked me to spell one word… He made me sit on a chair for 8 hours until I could spell it! Once I spelled it correctly, he made me spell it out loud over and over again… I was ten; the word “information.”

Cartoon-A-Thon’s  Mental Health Hero: UPDATE

It’s the 22nd!  Yes, we are coming to the last few miles of mental health awareness.  I planned on drawing all week but due to work and some kind of jaw/tooth pain, I’ve been sidelined until today.  For the last few weeks, the pain came and went.  I went to the doctor yesterday cause…OUCH, the pain was so severe!!  I’ve always had a high tolerance to pain.  Well, when you consider my past issues with cutting and branding, you  have be able to take what you’re dishing out to yourself.  Still, constant building pain can be overwhelming…meaning, I want this pain over with and fast!!  I know a lot of you reading this understand what I’m talking about first hand.

Now, I’m at the doctor’s office and right off the bat she tells me, ‘my symptoms sound like TMJ.’  I have to get a CAT scan to rule it out.  Other issues could be a tooth thing and then another possibility… (She did not specify since she did not have all the facts)  I’m thinking cancer but she assured me, most likely, it’s TMJ.

I found this info on a website about TMJ.  When I read the symptoms, I had and “AHAAA” moment.  I bolded all of the symptoms I’ve experienced over the past few weeks.  This is not the first time I’ve dealt with this thing. It’s just the first time the pain was off the scale!