I’ll be forty-one soon. Of the past forty-one years, only eleven of those years were years I was not overweight! That means for 75% of my life I’ve been overweight.
I’ve always been able to hold the extra weight in a way that did not make me look as “PHAT” as I was. I remember when I was 260 lbs, my doctor could not believe it. She thought the scale was broken and 50 pounds off. That was 20 years ago. After that doctor visit, I started Weight Watchers and in 9 months I lost 51 pounds and peeked at 209, I felt good and LOOKED GOOD!
I opened my own Pandora’s Box – reflecting back, I’m now realizing I was dealing with an uncontrolled mania roller coaster in and out depression. I was a wreck and I screwed up a LOT!!! That lead to periods of deep depression, self- injury and cutting and burning, and constant suicidal thoughts. I kept all that to myself and my wife had to suffer through it. My spastic behavior should have sent HUGE red flags up, but my wife and I just dealt with it the best we could. My weight loss opened that Pandora’s Box and the fear of a repeat has sat in the back of my mind ever since.
In December, my emotional eating and thinking, combined with medication and constant apathy had me pushing 380 pounds. I had to admit to myself that I’d been committing “Food-icide” with every bite. What is ”Food-icide”? Besides being a word I just made up, I think of it as suicide-by-food. So in December, at a Sam’s Club, I got a wake up call after getting an in-store free blood sugar and A1c check. My blood glucose tested 384 and a1c 8.9! I was ordered to go to the doctor the next day.
It’s now 60 days since that day and I’m happy to announce that my blood sugar has been balanced and I’m down 23 pounds! I have a log way to go, but with your help, I WILL lose 150 more pounds.
I will keep you all updated with a weekly weigh in. You can follow my day-to-day struggles via Facbook @chato B Stewart.
Chato Stewart: [reaching for the fridge door with one hand and weights in the other hand]
Caption: I’m good at Exercising… In Failure!
ps – I drew this on an App I downloaded… lol
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Last reviewed: 2 Mar 2012