Classical statueCan we learn to love better? Can we make our intimate relationships feel like a haven, be deeper, more peaceful and more meaningful?

To a great degree, we can. And we do this by learning to speak to each other in a different way—a whole new conversation. If we can learn to communicate with those we love—with the same kindness and honesty that we would appreciate receiving—we can create relationships that we enjoy most of the time—ones we’ll want to grow old with.

Why Do We Hurt Each Other?

Generally, it’s in our most intimate relationships that our deepest insecurities can arise. And so, it’s often those we love the most who suffer the worst effects of our insecurities. But when differences pop up—which stimulate our insecurities— what if we could just disagree without being offended or taking it personally? That’s a lot to ask of ourselves, isn’t it?

But, It’s Possible To Stop Taking Things Personally If  . . .

  • We learn to give each other the freedom to be ourselves, not a carbon copy of each other—let you be you and me be me.
  • We learn to use language in a way that helps us take responsibility for our perceptions and encourages us to stop fighting over different perspectives.
  • We cultivate a sense of humor

Once we really understand how to do this, we free ourselves from taking thing so personally and that helps us to become more curious and even find humor where we once might have taken offense. We can begin to chuckle at ourselves, and even learn something from another’s perspective, rather than feel threatened because their view is different from our own.

We Used To Fight

Early in our relationship, Jake and I were more reactive in our relating—that means we fought! When feeling insecure, we would take offense when none was intended. We would either fight to be right or turn away from each other and withdraw for hours, or sometimes as a much as a day or two. It was painful.

A Very Different Paradigm From The One We Grew Up With

Those things that we used to take offense at are now commonly things that bring laughter into our relating . . . we see how different we are and we appreciate our uniqueness.

This skill—respecting differences—is not something any of us are born with, nor are we taught how to relate in this way when we are growing up.

This way of relating is the nuts and bolts of Reology, which teaches us how to communicate consciously. Reology shows us how to do no harm when speaking to anyone, and allows us to leave a healthy emotional footprint behind us in all of our communication with others.

If you are single or coupled and want to learn how to create a nurturing relationship and feel more secure, you will actually change your life and your ability to love by attending a Reology retreat. Reology teaches us how to love each other better.

 

 


Comments


View Comments / Leave a Comment

This post currently has 3 comments.
You can read the comments or leave your own thoughts.






    Last reviewed: 22 Apr 2014

APA Reference
Anonymous. (2014). How To Love Better. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 26, 2014, from http://blogs.psychcentral.com/healthy-relationships/2014/05/how-to-love-better/

 

 

Subscribe to this Blog:
Feed


Or Get a Single, Daily Email (enter email address):

via FeedBurner



Recent Comments
  • Jake Eagle: My opinion is that when you become less tolerant and you make it clear that you expect a man to treat you...
  • Josie: If a woman were so intolerant, how could she even find a date? It is so hard as it is! For years I was single...
  • Jake & Hannah Eagle: I really can’t do this question justice in a short reply. Ultimately, it’s a...
  • JJ: Wonderful and enlightening article. Please give further examples of the 3-5 agreements between partners in a...
  • Mrs. Bipolar: Excellent post and great advice! I have learned not to react especially during times when my hubby is...
Find a Therapist
Enter ZIP or postal code



Users Online: 12240
Join Us Now!