How To Find and Keep The Right Partner

By Jake & Hannah Eagle

Screen Shot 2014-10-27 at 11.52.57 AMIn my private practice I hear women complain all the time, “There aren’t any good men out there.” I don’t often hear men say that there aren’t any good women out there, but they do say that they don’t know how to find the “right” woman.

I’ve developed an approach—an actual course—that helps people quickly assess whether or not they are likely to be a good match.

The course isn’t only for people who are dating. It also helps people who are already in relationship to figure out if they should stay together, and if so, how to make their romantic relating easier. We are big believers in the idea that love can be easy.

The key to successful dating will surprise most people.

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Creating Peace in Your Partnership

By Jake & Hannah Eagle

Screen Shot 2014-10-13 at 12.43.48 PMThere is a way to stop fighting with your partner. And those times when you slip into conflict, there is a way to quickly get back on loving ground.

The metaphor that we use for times when we are overly reactive is, “our train leaves the station.” Maybe it should be, “Our brain leaves the station.” Our partner says something, and we trigger ourselves. Adrenalin is released, our thoughts fuel our emotional engine and before we know it, something reactive is coming out of our mouths.

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Are Kids Victims of Divorce?

By Jake & Hannah Eagle

Screen Shot 2014-10-02 at 1.17.17 PMQ: In our previous conversation about my ex-wife you said some things I didn’t like hearing, but it turned out to be very helpful. Today I’d like to talk to you a bit about how my wife is harming my poor kids.

A: Your ‘poor kids’ that your wife is ‘harming.’ Yeah, I doubt we’re going to agree on that.

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Dealing with Ex-spouses

By Jake & Hannah Eagle

Screen Shot 2014-09-26 at 10.30.25 AMQ: My ex-wife is ruining my life. She doesn’t want to spend time with our kids, which is fine with me because she’s incredibly neglectful. But she’s actually blackmailing me, telling me that if I don’t keep paying child support, even though the kids aren’t with her at all, she’ll force the kids to spend time with her. She knows that makes me crazy, and it does, because it’s bad for the kids.

A: And so what are you doing about this?

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You’re Right — He’s Wrong

By Jake & Hannah Eagle

Screenshot 2014-09-16 21.36.37This photo appeared on my Facebook page this morning. It’s very funny. And it’s not. It’s not funny because so much fighting—between nations as well as individuals—comes from the need to be right and to make others wrong.

Just today one of my patients described the arguments he and his partner, whom he dearly cares about, have—fights that last into the night—until they are just both exhausted or until someone wins. These fights according to him are about her trying to convince him that she’s right and he’s wrong and him trying to prove that he’s a good guy and hasn’t done anything wrong.

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The Meaning of Life — Part 2

By Jake & Hannah Eagle

Screenshot 2014-06-14 12.39.16Part one of this blog—about finding the meaning of your life—focused mainly on looking outside yourself and  finding ways to contribute to other people. I proposed that helping others is a way to help ourselves.

There is another equally salient point . . .

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The Meaning of Life

By Jake & Hannah Eagle

Screen Shot 2014-09-12 at 6.53.48 PMOften I hear people yearning to find the meaning of life. They want to know what their purpose is for being here.

This pursuit pretty much assumes that we each have a specific reason for being here and our job is to discover what that is. Some spend a lifetime pursuing this but never finding what they’re looking for because they’re too focused on themselves.

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What Might Happen If You Go To Bed Angry

By Jake & Hannah Eagle

Screen Shot 2014-09-03 at 6.32.08 PMThat’s what my mom used to tell me: “Never go to bed angry, because one of you might not wake up the following day.” I don’t know how often she said it or even why she was so moved to say it, but it was one bit of wisdom from her that always stuck in my mind.

Most of my growing up years, and then through my thirties and into my forties, I would think about what she said if I was mad at someone. The thought would come automatically, but I rarely heeded her advice.

Before Death and After Death

Now I divide my life into two phases, like BC and AD, only mine are BD and AD—Before (Sarah’s) Death and After (Sarah’s) Death. And, maybe, BR and AR, Before Reology and After Reology.

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Are We Becoming Psychologically Overly Sensitive

By Jake & Hannah Eagle

Screen Shot 2014-08-27 at 8.25.26 PMI concern myself that we have become, or are becoming, psychologically overly sensitive. I suppose it’s not true of everyone, but I suspect it’s true for many people reading blogs like this one on Psychcentral. I know there is great value in developing self-awareness, but when does it become excessive? When does self-awareness turn into self-indulgence?

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Why Are We So Different?

By Jake & Hannah Eagle

Concept of man & woman couple hands showing intimacy & love. TheIn Reology, we learn to celebrate our differences. Instead of judging each other or ourselves, we learn to appreciate our differences and quit expecting others, particularly our romantic partners, to think and be like ourselves. And perhaps we can then, stop trying so hard to change them.

As Elie Wiesel says, there is human beauty in tolerance. Tolerating differences is beautiful. That doesn’t mean tolerance is always beautiful. For example, it’s not beautiful to tolerate immature, disrespectful behavior.

But that’s not what I am talking about here.

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Recent Comments
  • Jake & Hannah Eagle: I really can’t do this question justice in a short reply. Ultimately, it’s a...
  • JJ: Wonderful and enlightening article. Please give further examples of the 3-5 agreements between partners in a...
  • Mrs. Bipolar: Excellent post and great advice! I have learned not to react especially during times when my hubby is...
  • konarose: Yes, point well taken :) Thank you very much. I did get very carried away.
  • Jake & Hannah Eagle: Thanks for your response, KonaRose. I appreciate your message. At the same time, in our work...
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