Love & Romance

Love ’em or Leave ’em

“The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist themselves to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.”
―Thomas Merton

Much of what I know about happiness, or perhaps better said, unhappiness, is that it comes from wanting things to be other than what they are—when I desire things to be other than what they are, I can’t appreciate what is. 
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Communication

Eliminate passive aggressive behavior

I was working with a client today and suggesting that he and his partner, like many couples, have three basic ways in which they relate to one another. The first is that they argue, each trying to prove that they are right and the other person is wrong.

The second pattern often occurs when people are tired of fighting. They try to listen and understand their partner, but because they’re afraid a fight will occur, they stop giving voice to their own feelings. This pattern is an improvement over the first one, but it often leads to another problem.
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Communication

Stop Fighting, Be Happy

“It’s a curious fact that people are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously”.     Oscar Wilde

Most couples fight over the most trivial things. And most of what each partner is so certain about when they are fighting—is pretty much exaggerated and all made up....on both sides. It may feel real but most of the time it isn’t.
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