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Renovate Your Relationship: Replace Unsafe Couple Dynamics

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  1. Aggression of *any* sort is detrimental to relationships, and subtle aggression is more difficult to tease out. Control, manipulation, sarcasm, and refusing to use empathy are all forms of aggression- not just yelling. Sometimes with-holding occurs because the other partner is not safe to share with. The biggest negative behaviors need to be addressed first to create a safe environment for sharing and the beginning of forgiveness (which takes lots of time.)

    • Kim: Thanks for the comment. You raise such an important point – the susbtle aggression, as you call it, can be so dangerous – not only is it hurtful but it is often denied by the the one inflicting it- leaving or inviting the victim to think they are ” overly sensitive” ” Crazy” etc. Without addressing it, it has a very devisive impact.Thanks for expanding this discussion – Suzanne

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Suzanne Phillips, Psy.D., ABPP & Dianne Kane, DSW are the authors of Healing Together: A Couple's Guide to Coping with Trauma and Post-Traumatic Stress. Pick up the book today!

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