• “I love you but I don’t love that large Disney Sweatshirt.”
• “When did marriage mean you would stop shaving on the weekends?”
• “Everything you tried on looks great– why can’t you wear any of them?”
• “I think they said casual not throw-away.”

For most people, there was something about the physical characteristics of the person they fell in love with that tripped their chemistry into response. Should that stop mattering when the wedding is over, the kids are in school or the retirement is planned? Not Really.

This is a culture that pushes looks, youth, beauty and the icons that possess theme.  For those seeking a partner, there is a considerable amount of interest in what catches the attention of men when meeting women and what women find attractive in a man.

What guarantees commitment in the face of attractive alternative temptations? Nothing.

What maintains commitment in the face of attractive alternative temptations? Many things.

There is no doubt that men and women are both equally drawn to look at what would be conventionally deemed as attractive. Whether we cite evolutionary studies that suggest that physical attractiveness served as a potential sign of high genetic fitness or fertility, the fact is that because of our draw to the attractive, Hollywood has survived, tabloids live off the pictures of the beautiful people and most people notice the good looking person who walks into the office.  We have what researchers call an “attentional adhesion” to attractive people — it is hard to take our eyes off them (Maner, Gailliot, Rouby& Miller, 2007).

But…there are many expected and unexpected reasons that commitment to our romantic partners wins out over attractive alternatives.