Archives for couples therapy

couples therapy

Cybersex Addiction: Challenges to Relationships and Recovery

Recently, politics has brought cybersex addiction to the forefront of our media sources and our minds. Given political agenda, however, the focus has primarily been one of voiced outrage, questions of leadership competency and judgment about spousal reactions.

Less focus has been directed at the consideration of cybersex as addiction, and the challenges to relationships and recovery.
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When Couples Stop Talking: Reasons and Remedies

Most couples know the positive sounds of silence--the mutual experience of sharing time and space together without needing words. Be it walking the dog together, cooking side by side or listening to music--it is the silence of connection and love.

Many couples also know the silence that reflects tension, conflict or disconnection. Unable to speak beyond the necessities of daily life, these couples report, “ We just don’t talk anymore!”

If we recognize “ talking together” as a metaphor...
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An Asset to Couple Intimacy: The Capacity “To Be Alone”

While the definition of intimacy may vary depending on the relationship, it is generally felt to be the “ authentic” connection between two people. As such, the connection reflects a mutuality of loving feelings shared and expressed in thought, affect and behavior.

A host of factors including safety, trust, effective communication and sexual exclusivity have been identified as important for intimacy between partners.

Less discussed and perhaps surprising, is the importance of the...
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Is There Privacy Or Secrecy In Your Relationship?

In a culture of cell phones, text messages, Facebook, tweets and instagrams, the definitions of privacy and secrecy are challenged and at times blurred.

You read my emails?

I can’t report every move I make in the course of a day.

Why can’t I check out my high school girlfriend on Facebook?

When it comes to relationships, partners often underestimate the importance of privacy and the danger of secrecy.

Privacy in relationships reflects trust and enhances intimacy. Secrecy in relationships...
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How Different Are the Private and Public Versions of Your Relationship?

Almost everyone has felt the shock of hearing that a couple that seemed “so great together” was breaking up.

It can also be just as shocking to observe the public interaction of a couple only to wonder, “Why are these people together?”

Having worked many years with couples, I've come to understand that no one but the partners involved really know the differences in the private or public versions of their relationship.

While some differences in the...
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Re-Connect With an Ex? Crucial Considerations

Recycling is a good idea, except when it comes to relationships.

Regardless of what people tell themselves about the time invested, the good times missed, the great sex, or the feeling that things will be different; in most cases the re-connection with an ex rarely brings a better outcome.

Research tells us that rekindling a relationship decreases happiness. Studies of college grads as well as larger national studies of older couples reveal that those people who cycle back to relationships, often over and over again, experience less satisfaction, more uncertainty and more disillusionment in their relationships than non-cycling partners.

Let’s face it – breaking up is hard to do. When it has happened there is usually a good reason on the part of one or both partners.

Why then do people look backwards? Why do they imagine it will be different?
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Renovate Your Relationship: Replace Unsafe Couple Dynamics

Regardless of how new or old your relationship, most couples can benefit from changing relationship dynamics that cause marital deterioration.

In a recent study in The Journal of Family Psychology, researchers, Lavner, Bradbury and Karney found in surveying 251 couples every six months for the first four years of their marriage, that despite the wish for marital fulfillment those whose marriages deteriorated were dealing with unsafe dynamics like...
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Can No-Fault Divorce Actually Help Marriages?

On August 15, 2010 Governor Patterson signed the no-fault divorce bill making New York the 50th and final state to adopt no-fault divorce. What that means is that on October 15, 2010 a spouse who wants to be divorced will no longer be required to make allegations and prove marital fault by the other spouse.

For divorce actions commenced on or after that date, a person will only be required to swear that the relationship between them and their partner has broken down irretrievably for a period of at least six months. The divorce will only be granted once all the economic issues are resolved and there has been "equitable distribution."

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