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affair

What Are The Three Top Relationship Killers? Expert Opinions

What do you think are the three top relationship killers?

About a month ago a relationship site contacted me and asked me that question. The Coordinator of the site said that they were gathering the opinions of people, like myself, who worked with and wrote about couples. In the end they gathered some fascinating and important comments from 62 experts. I would invite you to consider that when your relationship is...
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affairs

Would You Ever Join A Couples Therapy Group? An Insider Look

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be in a couples therapy group? Can you picture working on issues with your partner in a room with other couples? Do you wonder whether a couples group could really help?

Author Laurie Abraham wondered the same things and received permission to spend a year as an observer in one of the couples groups led by Dr. Judith Coche,...
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Anger

Reducing Post-Romantic Stress in Two Ways

Regardless of whether they are young or old, if you ask partners about their Honeymoon, you hear and see a spark of that romantic excitement that makes time together magical when you have found that special someone to love. The mutuality of sexual desire and wish to please make the Honeymoon resistant to lost airline tickets, family pressures and even hurricane conditions.  What is Post-Romantic Stress Disorder? Post-Romantic Stress Disorder is a term coined by John Bradshaw in his new book, Post-Romantic Stress Disorder: What To Do when the Honeymoon is Over. According to Bradshaw, Post-Romantic Stress Disorder is the despair, rejection, or hidden resentment experienced when one or both of the partners feel that they are no longer loved and desired the way they once were.
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Benefits of Laughter

Look Who’s Laughing: Similarities and Differences in Men and Women

Laughing is a wonderful human trait that we all share. It is something we do from earliest childhood and something that benefits us in many ways. Physically, laughter relaxes skeletal and cardiovascular muscles. The rapid breathing associated with laughter increases oxygen level and improves respiratory function. Psychologically, laughter has been associated with reduction of stress and anxiety as well as improvement in mood, self-esteem and coping skills. Cognitively, neuroscientist, Scott Weems tells us that humor is like exercise for the brain. It necessitates insight and flexibility because it involves following the thread of the story and then enjoying the surprise, the pun or the unexpected. It is delightful when you realize from a child’s giggle that they “ get the joke” and heartwarming when the elderly are still “getting it” and laughing. Socially we know that laughter invites connection and is contagious. If you enter a room where everyone is laughing, before long there is a good chance you will be laughing even without knowing why. Some feel that the purpose of laughter is to strengthen human bonds. Whereas men and women both enjoy humor and benefit from laughing, there are some interesting gender differences.
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couple

Survive the First Four Years of Marriage: Use Anger Management

We know that only half of all first marriages make it. What we often don’t recognize is that the first four years seem to be important ones in shaping, making or breaking a marital relationship. Research has long pointed to communication as core to a couple’s satisfaction and regulation of conflict. A study by Ronald Rogge and Tom Bradbury, uncovers another tipping point of early marriage survival. The research sample included 60 couples married less than 6 months, with average age in the mid-twenties, average incomes between 20,000-30,000 and of mixed ethnicity (White 75%, Latino 10%, Asian 7%, and African American 5%). What the researchers found in following up every six months for four years was that communication did make a difference in marital satisfaction and dissatisfaction, but dissatisfied couples remained together. The true tipping point to divorce in the first four years of the marriages for this sample was aggression.
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affair

An Unrecognized Reason That Married Men Have Affairs

Evolutionary theory, gender differences, stereotype, media myth and cultural expectations invite us to recognize that men have more sexual desire than women both in frequency and intensity, are wired to have many partners, have more difficulty with monogamy and that as such, married men are more likely to have affairs than married women. The reality is that while married men have more affairs than married women –The difference is not that great. In the largest most comprehensive poll of its kind in 1994, Edward Laumann and colleagues found that 20% of women and just over 31% of men in their 40’s and 50’s reported having sex with someone other than their spouses. Young and Alexander in their 2012 book, The Chemistry Between Us: Love, Sex and the Science of Attraction accept a rough estimate of 30 to 40 percent infidelity in marriage for men and women. The other reality is that while extra-marital affairs by definition involve a romantic and emotional relationship that has a sexual or sexualized component, research suggests that sexual drive is not the primary reason married men have affairs.
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