Research tells us that what is novel or out of the ordinary has been found to change neurochemistry and actually stimulate hormones related to excitement and desire. If you are one of many couples who like different TV shows that you watch in different rooms, consider the novelty of finding, saving and watching a show together. It may well enhance intimacy!couplewatchingtv

Enhanced intimacy is much more than watching a show together once and ending up being sexual. It is building a pattern that includes a mini pause in the midst of a non-stop culture, with non-stop media prompts to privately share something interesting and enjoyable. In a couples’ life the treasures are often found in the simple things shared.

Why Watching A TV Show Works?

  • It involves three domains of communication, which build intimacy- companionship, empathy and physical connection.
  • Without having to hire a babysitter or make a restaurant reservation, the plan to stop everything to be alone to watch a mutually selected show sounds small but is emotionally big.
  • It implies attunement to each other’s interests when making a mutual choice, the desire to be together and an effort to make it happen.
  • It invites companionship, increases awareness of each other’s reactions, and offers a common topic to reference or speak about.
  • It invites closeness. When people are doing the same thing, at the same thing in the same room there is a chance they are going to feel closer and even become sexually closer.
  • When people plan to actually leave their favorite chairs to sit together to watch“ this show” they have enhanced the novelty and increased the chance of intimacy.

What About Content?

While the most important ingredient is the mutuality of your choice, certain content areas have different additional benefits.

Comedy -Laughter and intimacy go together. A couple that laughs together shares something beyond words. In studying humor in married life, researchers found that humor promoted intimacy, belonging and cohesiveness. It actually changes us physically.  Spending an evening laughing is always a good thing.

Drama- What we know about literature and films is that they often have the capacity to bear witness to life issues and feelings that cannot be represented in another ways. As such films become interactive experiences for viewers. Partners may be moved to private memories or emotions in the shared experience of viewing. They may be moved to speak about memories or issues (illness, loss, parents, friends) in their life that have formerly been difficult to address.  On the other hand, for many it will be the silent viewing “together” that will offer more than words can say.

Reality Performance Shows- Many couples have shared the enjoyment and excitement of watching “ American Idol” The Voice” etc. not to mention competitive cooking or other reality shows. Some partners have been surprised at learning of the others interests or childhood talents or dreams. It goes without saying that what is watched together often becomes a bridge to the dance class or cooking class they decide to take together.

This is a culture that spends a great deal of time in front of screens of every type and size, downloading, saving, forwarding and streaming everything from news to sports and more.

Back in the sixties, Marshall McLuhan proposed, “the median is the message.”  We might re-consider that when a couple stops to watch TV “ together”… they are using the medium on their terms in a way to send their message of connection.

 

 

 


Comments


View Comments / Leave a Comment

This post currently has 8 comments.
You can read the comments or leave your own thoughts.

Trackbacks

No trackbacks yet to this post.






    Last reviewed: 29 Jan 2014

APA Reference
Phillips, S. (2014). A Simple Way to Enhance Intimacy: Watch TV “Together”. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 1, 2014, from http://blogs.psychcentral.com/healing-together/2014/01/a-simple-way-to-enhance-intimacy-watch-tv-together/

 

Healing Together
for Couples


Archives



Subscribe to this Blog:
Feed


Or Get a Single, Daily Email (enter email address):

via FeedBurner



More on
Relationships


Healing Together

Suzanne Phillips, Psy.D., ABPP & Dianne Kane, DSW are the authors of Healing Together: A Couple's Guide to Coping with Trauma and Post-Traumatic Stress. Pick up the book today!

Subscribe to this Blog:
Feed


Or Get a Single, Daily Email (enter email address):

via FeedBurner



Recent Comments
  • special K: Cyber sex has replaced the stack of playboys that most adolescence had between the mattress and bed.
  • RexDoctor: This is good, sound advice in the “less-is-more” school of thought. Thank you! P.S. Also, just...
  • dawn: And I am the other woman as well. Have been for 3 years now. I was made to believe in that he was separated in...
  • Stegner: Clearly you do not experience empathy for his wife. You actively deal in lies and deception and yet you...
  • Lin Agostinacchio: Great writing. You pinpointed so much about divorce. I know many friends and relatives that are...
Find a Therapist
Enter ZIP or postal code



Users Online: 12240
Join Us Now!