Archive for October, 2011

Married with Differences: Can That Work?

Wednesday, October 19th, 2011

at the alterIt depends. It most cases it’s not the differences that threaten a marriage, it’s how the partners experience and react to those differences.

There Are Always Some Differences

Whether you were drawn together by the attraction of opposites or finally found your ideal match in terms of similar looks, education or socio-economic background, most partners at some point realize they are married “ with differences.” The fact is that no two people have the same goal, react the same way or enjoy the same thing, at the same time – ALL THE TIME. ( Thankfully)

  • “ You really like working in the garden?”
  • “ You don’t mind driving the kids for 8 hours to ski?”
  • “ You really want that many pairs of shoes?”

When Do Differences become Problems?

Working with couples, it seems that differences become problems when they are unexpected, imply change or are experienced as a threat to either partner or to the relationship. Often partners react to the assumed threat with accusation or judgment which sets the stage for conflict. For example,

While most partners can live with having different tastes in foods and music, differences that emerge in the face of life events ( jobs, children, financial burdens) often threaten partners.


Mental Health Day: Suicide Protection Across Generations

Monday, October 10th, 2011

don't jump signSuicide ranks as the eleventh leading cause of death in the United States. We have lost loved ones across the generations.

  • Older Americans are disproportionately likely to die by suicide. Although they comprise only 12 percent of the U.S. population, people age 65 and older accounted for 16 percent of suicide deaths in 2004.
  • Suicide is the second leading cause of death in college students and the third leading cause of death in adolescents.  Every day 14 teens take their own lives.
  •  According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, for the second year in a row, middle -aged adults have the highest suicide rate in the country, surpassing even older Americans.

While there are many factors that contribute to suicide, an important new study identifies two factors that have been associated with increased risk for suicidal thought and behavior across the lifespan – hopelessness and lack of connectedness to others.


Overeating: Reasons Why and Strategies for Stopping

Thursday, October 6th, 2011

overeating

Do you know why you overeat?

Overeating is a common and complex behavior in this culture.

Pew survey finds that about six-in-ten Americans say they eat more than they should, either often (17%) or sometimes (42%). More particularly, a majority of Americans report that they eat more junk food than they should, either often (19%) or sometimes (36%).

More than 85% of people say that Americans are more overweight today than five years ago and two-thirds of the public call this a “major problem.”

While issues with eating are often driven by personal or familial dynamics, food expert, Brian Wansink, who conducted research with thousands of people over many years, found that when it comes to overeating, people actually share some common patterns.


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Suzanne Phillips, Psy.D., ABPP & Dianne Kane, DSW are the authors of Healing Together: A Couple's Guide to Coping with Trauma and Post-Traumatic Stress. Pick up the book today!

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Recent Comments
  • special K: Cyber sex has replaced the stack of playboys that most adolescence had between the mattress and bed.
  • RexDoctor: This is good, sound advice in the “less-is-more” school of thought. Thank you! P.S. Also, just...
  • dawn: And I am the other woman as well. Have been for 3 years now. I was made to believe in that he was separated in...
  • Stegner: Clearly you do not experience empathy for his wife. You actively deal in lies and deception and yet you...
  • Lin Agostinacchio: Great writing. You pinpointed so much about divorce. I know many friends and relatives that are...
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