Fear is a guardian of life, but in the modern world it can become life’s destroyer.

We live today because every single one of our ancestors avoided death long enough to reproduce. That implies considerable luck, but also caution. No doubt those early hominids who tended toward recklessness, and felt little fear, soon became meals for carnivores. We have millions of years of breeding behind us, and hair-trigger fright served our ancestors well.

The problem is that despite a high level of essential safety (most of us stand little risk of being torn apart bodily, even if we might get shredded financially), we continue to live on high alert. Every day many abstract aspects of our complicated lives get threatened, though survival usually does not. Our inner fright responses can’t tell the difference, apparently, between threats to life and threats to status, opinion, possessions, position, personal space, retirement accounts, pride, etc. Because these human constructs are indeed fragile and vulnerable, and often at risk, we may end up feeling terrified a great deal of the time. We may feel as if our very lives are at risk, when all that’s in danger may be the ego’s props and self-image.

The problem is worse for those raised in scary households. Children who are threatened and assaulted truly do fear for their lives, with good reason. Even if they don’t face physical death (and some do), the lack of safe family life amounts to the same thing in a child’s psyche. Children grow up, and fear becomes a lifestyle.

Fight it. That’s the advice I offer myself regularly, and I offer it to anyone with whom these words resonate. Fight fear. Although many obstacles in life are best approached with a light touch, fear responds to strength. Convince you inner terror that you have the resources to protect yourself. Remind it of all you’ve so far survived, and how much you’ve overcome. Visualize yourself as a strong, vital person capable of self-preservation and self-promotion.

Fear is a ghost of our past, a relic of our developmental and ancestral history. It has its place in dangerous neighborhoods, and if not allowed to overwhelm our spirits, it can serve as a subterfuge detector when we interact with others. But most of the time dread and suspicion can be put to rest, and we can live well without that constant, gnawing anxiety that many of us know too well.

Fear is optional. You can choose how much to let it color your experience. The first step in overcoming it is to recognize how often it lurks within the mind, darkening your outlook. The next step is to remember how essentially safe you are most of the time. Inventory your many inner resources and convince yourself that you have what it takes to survive. Finally, build an image of yourself as a brave, capable person facing life with confidence and aplomb. Let that be the self-image that guides you, and let go of any sense that you are weak and vulnerable.

This is possible. Many have grown past crippling fear to live with solid feelings of safety and peace. You can too. Fight fear, and it will fade.

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    Last reviewed: 6 Sep 2010