Battered TreeI have been away from this blog for quite awhile due to a health issue requiring surgery and an on-going relationship issue. Both combined is enough to make me think my life over. At this low point in life, existential loneliness is vivid.

I have been questioning:

  • Why do good people experience unfairness?
  • What does love mean?
  • What is my life purpose?
  • Am I the cause of these unfavorable incidents?
In dark hours, we are so restricted with what we can see, think, and feel at that time. Being around friends and relatives who don’t quite understand how things work cognitively might not help because they tend to relate our specific experience with their past experiences, which can be quite different from what we are experiencing.
These incidents occurred in a new environment, which I thought might have been contributed to the overall confusion I experienced. Thus, I have decided to go back to my hometown in Silicon Valley, California, in order to experience the so-called “normalcy.” I believe that a stable environment would provide a neutral backdrop for my search of existence.
In a nutshell, as a study, “existential loneliness” was pioneered by Søren Kierkegaard (1813-1855) and Martin Heidegger (1889-1976), in which they examined and shed light on:
  • Existential Depression
  • Existential Absurdity
  • Existential Meaninglessness
  • Existential Void
  • Existential Anxiety
  • Existential Splitting
  • Existential Guilt
  • Existential Understanding of Death
  • Existential Despair
  • Existential Insecurity
  • Obstacle to Existential Freedom
It is all right that we experience “loneliness” from time to time, for it’s a human thing. After all, life is 50% happiness and 50% sadness. As long as we learn from what we are experiencing, we grow as an individual. In the end, it’s the freedom of knowing and unknowing that would complete us. 
“We are a log in the river. In the end, we arrive at the sea,” Erik Soriano once said. Life is a pilgrimage with unexpected events and results. A big and accepting heart would make the journey more meaningful.
Creative Commons License photo credit: canihazit