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General

What Is A Soulful Person



If there is a soul, what is that really? The term "soul" is usually monopolized by religions and implies an existence after death. In psychology, we use the word "Self", that what we identify with as a whole. But are they different from each other, or do they mean one and the same?

The psychotherapeutic school of thought Internal Family Systems therapy is shining a new light on this question. The...
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Anxiety and Worry

About These Annoying Seven Tips That Will Change Your Life

 Here's what's wrong with the seemingly endless and yet so fascinating lists of things that are either good for you or bad for you: They give me anxiety. Here's this list about the 7 most compelling books I should read. And then there's the one with the 10 most delicious dessert recipes without sugar. Even news organization now publish a daily list of "5 things to know for your new day", covering everything from winter weather to the...
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Anxiety and Worry

Lying Awake at Night



Last night was one of those nights again. I woke up in the wee hours of the morning - maybe it was 3am, maybe it was 5am, I don't know. I felt sad and uncomfortable. Something wasn't right. What was it this time? Sometimes I wake up at night and I worry that I don't have enough friends. Other times I am afraid I won't have enough money in the long run to live the life...
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Anxiety and Worry

Every Breath You Take

 

Breath is the source of life. Ancient yogis have built much of their wisdom on how to utilize breathing not just as a spiritual practice, but also a means to enhance physical and emotional well being.

"Take a deep breath" has become a ubiquitous formula to meet many challenges: it's a popular - and effective - go-to remedy to calm yourself down, to handle the anticipation of bad news or to get ready...
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General

Good Bye And Good Luck!

After one and a half years, I am retiring my blog about introverts, shy people and all kinds of Gentle Selves, and turn to the new and exciting field of the science of consciousness. It has been an honor to serve all readers who shared my interest, and I want to encourage all the check out my new blog Mind Matters - Neuroscience and Consciousness.

Woman behind shutter image available from...
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Anxiety and Worry

The Power Of Being An Introvert



Introverts and shy people all over rejoice: there is nothing wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with needing space and quiet, and preferring a low key dinner with a good friend to a loud and extravagant party.

There is nothing wrong with needing time to retreat from the world and recharge your internal batteries, or to feel overwhelmed by too much...
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General

When Spiritual Relationships Go Awry – Part IV




Many people who come to enter codependent relationships with their teachers are--consciously or unconsciously--seeking to empower themselves by associating with a powerful figure. They project all the qualities they feel are lacking in themselves onto the teacher: perseverance, wisdom, enlightenment, strength, and so on. They become fixated on the belief that they can only develop these qualities the closer they are to the teacher.
Making the teacher their therapist, lover, or main confidante...
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General

When Spiritual Relationships Go Awry – Part III



Love and care are at the heart of every functioning spiritual student-teacher relationship. It is almost never equally mutual or even palpable in overt ways, and it may never be acknowledged. It can come in many different forms and includes struggles and resistance. But the intensity of every significant bond that is forged in this arena implies by its nature the presence of affection and love.
Unfortunately, the nature of this love is...
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General

When Spiritual Relationships Go Awry, Part II

In my previous post, I discussed the pitfalls of idealization and just how easy it is to put a seemingly highly evolved person on a pedestal. What often comes with idealization is a certain degree of regression, which means that the admirer goes back to a psychologically less mature place and looks up to the spiritual teacher from an almost childlike place. This is what puts the person in authority in such a powerful place.

Spiritual leaders,...
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