So many of us feel starved for support and attention. We feel alone, and riddled by doubts about what we should do and who we should be. We constantly obsess about what is lacking from our lives.

How many of us have woken up in the wee hours of the morning, anxious and in the grip of fear. “I shouldn’t have said that, now I’m going to lose that person.”"I wish I wasn’t so lonely.” “I don’t have enough friends, I am all alone in the world.” And so on.

We tend to lose sight of what is already present in our lives, and that we can rely on them.

I came across this book by Byron Katie, called I Need Your Love – Is That True?: How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval, and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead. It was published a couple of years ago. I’m a bit of a newcomer to self help literature, but she is quite popular, so you may have read or heard about it many times before.

I was struck by a quote in the book that reflects our most basic existential fears so eloquently that I want to just type the whole thing:

“Do you know what supports your existence right now? Your neck and shoulders support your head. The bones and muscles of your chest support your breathing. Your chair supports your body. The floor supports your chair. The earth supports the building you live in. Various stars and planets hold the earth in its orbit. Outside your window, a man walks down the street with his dog. Can you be sure that he isn’t playing a part in your support? He may work every day in a cubicle, filing papers for the power company that makes your lights come on. [...] Look around and see if there is anything you can say for sure doesn’t play a role in supporting you.”

Think big picture. As soon as we step out of our small, narrow-minded perspective of the world, everything starts to expand. So much of our fear will disappear when we stop clinging to that one thought, that one thing that is supposed to make us happy but we don’t have control over.

Everything is mind. Our thoughts create most of the reality we live in. When we shift our perspective and let go of the fear and doubts that rule us, we can finally be free.

photo credit: mikecogh

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    Last reviewed: 22 Apr 2012