‘Tis the season for school transitions, and I’m running into a lot of clutter in my house.  Clutter in the closets, clutter in the dressers, clutter in the garage, clutter in the storage room, even the laundry room and the pantry.  Projects-in-progress, off-season clothes, clothes that don’t fit, the leftovers from the county fair – and I can easily imagine what it will be like when the constant influx of school papers starts soon.

Clutter happens, even for folks who are more naturally tidy and organized.  Kids often collect clutter simply because they are still learning how to take care of themselves and their things.  This may sound off-track for a family mental health blog, but just hear me out.  I bring this up now because the beginning of school is a time of huge family transition, and it can hit like a ton of bricks if you aren’t quite prepared.

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Hello everyone!  Today you’re getting a double scoop of parenting advice articles.  I found it a little amusing that these articles both came to my attention in the same week.  And realistically, you may still find elements of these articles you don’t agree with.  Such is the case with any advice, right?

Still, advice is something we parents are bound to receive and it’s good to get new information now and then.  By the end of both articles, I hope you feel well-equipped to take in the good advice and gracefully deal with the stuff that annoys you.

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Wow – lots of things to get to this week in the world of mental health. I appreciate your patience with me – I’ve been occupied with some family medical issues, but am ready to dive in to the world of family mental health for you.

The news and media have been brewing with new things!  I’ll be breaking them up into separate posts over the next few
days so you have a chance to digest them and add your comments.

For today, I want to react to an upcoming episode of iCarly that I saw advertised.  I have kids who sometimes watch iCarly and some of the Disney sitcom shows.  In general, most of these shows have exaggerated plot lines that are very overplayed for the sake of humor.  I’ve been OK with the majority of these, but one episode in particular is grabbing my attention – in a bad way.

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Yeah, I know.  That headline makes it sound too easy.  I’m not implying that within this post lies the magic secret to perfect peace with your children.  Conflict is normal and not every conflictual conversation is an argument.  I’m keeping this really simple not because it’s easy to do, but because it is difficult.  Emotions can run strong when you and your child start to argue.  It’s so easy to get sucked in, so I want you to have a simple concept to keep you focused.

Here’s an example of a typical argument-starter you might encounter:

“Jeff, it’s time to get ready for bed.”

“What? That isn’t fair!  Why did she get to stay up so late?”

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Greetings, readers. I hope you are surviving the heatwave this week.

I owe one of my readers a post today.  Tom asked several weeks ago about more resources on sibling bullying. He commented on my bullying between siblings post and wanted more information.

I apologize for the delay, but I did find some interesting information. Sibling bullying can easily be mistaken for sibling rivalry, so it probably happens more often than people suspect. Take a close look at each of these resources and make sure you know what’s going on in your family.

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School has been out a while.  Memorial Day has come and gone.  The 4th of July is over.  Many kids (including mine) still have several weeks before school is in session again.  Plus, it’s just hot, hot, hot outside – that seems to sap our energy sometimes.  We’re having a case of the summer doldrums.

So, what do you do about it the letdown?  I know that some of you may have plenty of things scheduled and may not need help in this area.  But even when you have a break in the action, it’s easy for boredom to set in.  Take a look at what we’re going to be doing and add your own suggestions at the bottom.

Rejuvenate Our 4H Projects

We have about a month left before our county fair and it’s time to really get some traction on our projects.  Here’s something I learned from an unfortunate paperwork issue I had last summer.  You can enter just about anything under Open Class, even at the last minute.  So don’t worry that your kids aren’t officially in 4H this year.

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…For they shall not break in half when they are faced with unexpected change and challenges.

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s a lesson I’m working on right now.  I’m sure many of you have had periods of time when just staying upright took all the energy you had.  When the winds of change come, they often come at gale force.  Will you bend or will you break?

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You may be one of many people in this world with some family pain.  I don’t mean just some embarrassing moments and childhood challenges.  I mean some real gut-wrenching pain, pain that could overwhelm and consume you if you let it.

It’s not easy to do, and you may not believe me, but family pain and good living can exist at the same time. It’s easy to think that good living isn’t possible because you can’t go a day without being reminded of your awful past (or present).  Or, that people who have a good life just don’t have much (or any) emotional problems with their family.

For some, holding on to the pain means that they hold on to “something.”  And if they let go of it, they won’t have much left of their family at all.  Something’s better than nothing, so the pain gets a long-term invitation.  It’s too hard to face the reality of their situation and move forward.

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I found a report today about the connection between marriage and childhood poverty.  As you might expect, the report highlighted facts and commentary about how married families experience less poverty.

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I get a lot of comments and questions about difficult family situations.  One of my first thoughts is “Have they been to a family counselor?”  Yes, I have worked as a family counselor, but I’m not just saying this to boost my profession.  I’m saying it because good family counseling can really work.

The Opportunity Of Family Counseling

A lot of times, I read about these really difficult situations that have gone on for months or even years.  Often times, people just get used to the chaos and problems.  They may think that they are beyond help, they’ve heard from a friend that counseling didn’t work for them, or they simply don’t know what’s available to them.

I used to work with families who had a child about to be removed from the home.  It was either me or their child went under state custody.  That’s probably a tougher situation than many families face, but the stress and unhappiness of family problems still affect everyone.

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