Comments on
Inside the Depressed Mind

By Erika Krull, MS, LMHP

One of the more frequently read posts on the family mental health blog is PMDD Hard to Endure Harder to Explain. I know many of …

8 Comments to
Inside the Depressed Mind

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  1. That is a very accurate description of what depression is like for me. The feeling of isolation, hopelessness, discounting of achievements and loss of pleasure all descrbe how I feel during a depression episode.

  2. I love the explanation. It makes us aware that there are others experiencing the same feelings. But this refers to depressive episodes which I have not usually encountered. My depression is constant with periods of relief that come from intense focus on a project or problem that needs fixing.

  3. Amazingly good description. Thank you for writing about this and posting the link.

  4. This has to be one of the better descriptions of depression that I have ever read. I really relate to the “quicksand” analogy. For me sometimes EVERYTHING takes so much energy that I don’t even want to think about it, let alone do it. I have both constant depression and I have episodes where it gets worse. I very seldom feel good about anything. But my best advice that has seemed to help my family understand is that “depression cannot be described logically. It is NOT logical. So it does NOT respond to logic.” (i.e., this is just temporary, look at the bright side, you have so much to be thankful for…my thoughts to those statements are always “yeah, yeah, yeah….tell me some more useless crap.) And I have to tell myself firmly that when I feel like the rest of the world would just plain be better off without me, I need to talk to someone, and do a medication check. Because if I don’t ever believe anything else when I am in that frame of mind, I WILL believe that. And I don’t want to stay there….wandering in my head all alone.

  5. Very scary, very apt, a good view from the depths. I don’t remember that anyone in my family had a clue; a few attempts to speak to friends were (this was when I was younger) greeted with skepticism, a kind of irritation, which then fed the feeling of being unlovable and isolated, like proof that no one cared very much. I had ” rolling” cyclic depressions, and I got to a point where even I could see that some reactions were “crazy.” And – this sounds too precious, I know, but there were some things that could still give me pleasure – like a beautiful sunset, or certain music, and they gave me hope.

    I got myself into therapy sporadically over the course of my working years, and found some support that way, but it ( different modes of therapy) really didn’t touch the depression until i decided that it was worth trying medication. For me it stopped the cycling ( OK, I got cocky and went off a couple of times — mistake) It isn’t that I have left the black dog entirely. I at least have to add in other supports – meditate, exercise, keep in touch with friends, be aware of the preliminary signs of self isolation or irritation and go see the Dr.

  6. I have had depression all my life, but did not know
    it was depression.At that time it was not too sever.
    And i always had a reason for being depressed at that time. i was very young , and always very sensitive.
    And i would get those feeling of sadness when, some body would leave after a visit , or a friend would get married & move to another town.. But when i got married, my depression became full blown. I lost 10 pounds on the week of my wedding.I felt by marrying i am separating from myself.And i wont be the same. I think i was missing myself or my life as it was.
    I did not know my husband he was living in the us .
    and had come for a visit& to get married.
    And a few month later my uncle brought me to us Since then, not only my life went from bad to worse.but my depression as well.Then i found out i have developed fibromyalgia. Unfortunately when i am depressed , which is now always i cry a lot, and i need to talk it out.And people don,t like to listen to a depressed person . even one,s family.
    Because it makes them depressed and they cant do anything for you from so far away.In this kind of situation i feel as if i am lost in the space & is night. And i will never be rescued , and i wont die.but for ever be floating in the dark space.
    I have seen a lot of therapist with no result. I was going to them, because i needed some one to talk to. And finally i started taking medicine
    but not for depression.I had to take it for f.m.s
    Because i still did not believe i had depression.
    I thought.I still thought the reason i am sad and crying , is because my life has turned upside down.
    Then finally , a psychiatrist told me that i have
    a major depression. And is not related to f.m.s
    either. I think about dying a lot. actually i fantasize about dying & pray a lot to die , ever day. But i wont take my own life.It is too selfish to me , to get yourself out of your misery & put your family into a hell.But most of all , losing your self esteem & confidence & the feeling of hopelessness & helplessness , And the worst one of all the unbearable feeling of being alone , even among people . And i think because my depression is genetic it does not respond to medication, so i feel there is no hope of ever getting better.Even if my depression gets better.The fibromyalgia will still be there , which has prison-ed me in my own house. I feel i am in a big grave , but alive.
    Like a dead man breathing . I hope i did not make you all depressed.

  7. I like that description. Looking back on my own experience of extreem depression it’s hard to explain to someone. The one thing I remember was there was NO HOPE- for anything period! It was terrifying! People could see it on my face. My dad told me to sing songs which I did out loud to block out the thinking. That really helped.I thought about suicide but was afraid I’d be stuck in some afterlife hell. This went off and on for years. Sleep disruption with visions of goulish creatures. No appitite. No motivation to even get out of the bath tub-until the water was cold. Terrifying is the central thing I guess because your soul is rotting away. Medication really helped. I was never hospitalized. Now those days are past and I feel pretty good but it was only a few years ago I’d get that feeling again-terrifying- and I’d go for long walks out of desperation. Now I can see low level depression in others and sometimes in my own lack of energy and motivation.

  8. I wanted to add just to hang in there because for many if not all depression lessens or disappears with age. And get some medication. Once when I took it in less than a week I was what I felt was normal. Physical exercise of any kind helps a lot.

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