Archives for April, 2012
Here's a news flash - I'm a silent perfectionist. How do I know this? Because of the hopeless clutter in my closet, my desk, the "splash zone" around my desk, and my procrastination habits. I wouldn't have called myself a perfectionist, but I now recognize some key thoughts that contribute to these bad habits and cluttered areas. Keep in mind - perfectionism doesn't always have a neat-as-a-pin appearance. Let's think of this as something therapeutic we can do together, OK? We'll expose these thoughts and the trouble they bring with them. At another time, we'll talk about what to do with these aggravating things. For now, let's bring out the suspects!
The hot parenting topic du jour centers on moms, the economy, and the workforce. I don't really want to discuss Mitt Romney's conversational partners (or make this a political debate), but I do want to discuss what you think about the term "working mom." It's been thrown around quite a bit in the last 24 hours and I've heard it interpreted in various ways. By chance, I'd also come across an article on an upcoming book called The Conflict. The author indicates that the current expectations of modern motherhood conflict with the goals of personal fulfillment. You could say that for many women in Western cultures, building a career is part of their plan for personal fulfillment.
It's been splashed in the headlines with the Penn State situation. It's going on privately in countless places around the country and the world. What's happening in between the public media and the deadly silence? Are we talking about sexual abuse? Are we really shedding enough light on it? Shameful darkness is the fuel for ongoing sexual abuse. Violation, embarrassment, lack of human value, emptiness - these words barely begin to describe the reality for a sexual abuse survivor. The person willing to sexually abuse another needs that power to feel like they are worth something. They need to strip someone else's dignity and value in order to fill an emptiness in their own life. It's absolutely senseless but it still happens. In every state of the US. Every day. Every night. Somewhere. A few weeks ago I attended a counseling conference with a breakout session on sexual trauma. This one woman's story has stuck with me in the shadows of my mind since then. She talked about harrowing assaults that happened over and over on a daily basis. It was horrifying and riveting at the same time. How did she continue to survive and have any personality or identity left?