Are you ready for another way to make your parenting more effective right now? Get ready to relax and let go a little.
As parents, we always try to keep some kind of control over our kids’ lives. Of course, that is often a good thing. You want your kids to get to school on time, do their homework, hang out with the right friends, and so on. It can be a little tough sometimes to think about letting go.
I’m giving you permission to let go! I experienced two recent situations with my kids that showed me a lot. In both cases, I ended up finding more success letting go than tightening the control.
Take a look at how it went:
Here’s the “magic” within the process. When I kept pressing, it was because I was getting more frustrated because they weren’t making any progress with or without reminders. I was more frustrated than they were.
Perhaps the most important concept I learned as a counselor is that I should not be working more than my client. And when it comes to learning responsibility, I should not be working harder than my kids! I gave the frustration and inner conflict *back to them*. When I let go of it, they could really embrace it.
Make Adjustments For Each Kid’s Situation
Now certainly, a kid with a really difficult behavioral pattern may change their response in mere moments. And letting go doesn’t mean you just forget about what your kids are doing – not at all. It’s about knowing when you should refuse to own the emotional distress that should be theirs.
That’s it! When I let go of the frustration, I felt more relaxed almost immediately. I didn’t think about it or stew about it anymore. And that felt great! Nearly instant relief and a much improved result from my kids. We are all happier about both situations this week than we were a few days ago.
How about you, parents? What have you learned about letting go as a parent?
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Last reviewed: 8 Feb 2011