Some Family Problems Can't Be Fixed

As smart as you or I may be, we just can’t fix everything.  Broken trust, broken hearts, broken family ties, life-altering decisions, split-second tragedies.  These are some of the unfortunate things that develop in people’s lives every day.

Some of these can happen in the snap of a finger, and others build slowly over years of time.  But one thing is for sure – sometimes we just have to do the best we can.

Families Are At The Foundation

Families are very potent.  The closeness, distance, toxicity, or indifference of a person’s family is at the foundation of their world.  Every person develops some part of themselves in relation to their family.

It’s inevitable because we are social creatures.  We are made to be exceptionally vulnerable for a long time so others must care for us.  We are dependent and crave personal connection.  When things go well, a person has a terrific change to develop into a confident unique individual.  And when they go wrong, it can take quite an effort to right the ship.

Not Everything Can Be Fixed

There are things that cannot be fixed.  People who are divorced usually stay divorced.  People who die will remain dead.  Trust that is lost may never return.  People who are hurt too many times may not want to be part of the groupanymore.  History cannot be changed.  It is only a person’s future outlook, behaviors, and environment that can possibly be changed.

Do the best you can when something like this happens.  Offer your closeness to a family member who is hurting.  Show them the sunlight in every day when they can only see the darkness of their past.  Make yourself or someone else comfortable while understanding that emotional pain will hang around longer than you want it to, and it will be OK.  Stay persistent when you know the person who is hurt doesn’t completely understand what’s best for them at the moment.

Do The Best You Can

In other words, accept that some things can’t be fixed and do the best you can.  That’s all.  No need to try to be perfect – that’s not your job.  Your job is to do your best and get up to see the sun another day.  Be the best imperfect family you can be.

Creative Commons License photo credit: cote



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    Last reviewed: 22 Oct 2010

APA Reference
Krull, E. (2010). Some Things Can’t Be Fixed – Do The Best You Can. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 27, 2015, from



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