photo credit: sermoa

Today I’m trying something that I hope can become a regular feature. Sometimes, finding current news and resources on family mental health issues can be tough. I will gather a few goodies that I find, give you a brief introduction, and provide a link for you to check out the original source. Hopefully, you and I will gradually collect a wealth of good reading for us to refer to whenever we need it. Also, if you have a great resource or interesting article to share, let me know and I’ll try to include it if it seems appropriate. Here’s your first Around The Web summary.

photo credit: Ewan-M

For most of high school, I had a busy after-school schedule. Some days I was there through the evening because of a practice, a game, or an event. The distance between my school and home sometimes didn’t permit for me to touch base at home in between things. That was twenty plus years ago, and things aren’t much different for many families today. Kids are going everywhere, parents work late or at odd hours, and no one’s sure who’s coming or going. And despite this challenge, I’m going to emphasize how important it is to make the time somehow.

So what if your schedule seems impossible? How in the world will you ever pull it off? Well, before we get into the how, let’s take a closer look at the why.  Mealtime is a lot more than just consuming calories. It’s social time, it’s responsibility and routine time, and it’s a time for showing that we care enough to make the effort to be with each other. That’s why you have a family in the first place, isn’t it? To be together. It can be an important anchor in a child’s daily schedule and emotional universe. Children know what to expect, they can count on seeing certain important people, and they can enjoy something delicious to the senses together. Kids get used to sharing highlights of their day, maybe a laugh or two.

Some families do hold dinner later for their late-arriving parent so no one is left out. Or sometimes the kids are fed first, share a snack later when the late-arriving parent gets home, then the parents have a full meal together after the kids go to bed. One way or another, everyone eats and everyone is together.

Did I ever say that family mealtime always had to be supper? No – that’s where creativity comes in! If dinner time is too tricky, a family breakfast might be a better option. This can work well for a …

photo credit: owlpacino

About a month ago, I told you about a competition my husband started with our girls keeping their rooms clean.  I’ve learned a few interesting things from this process and I’ll share my most important observation.  Kids learn new habits with their own unique challenges and motivation issues.  Now, I’ll go over some of the important details that helped me understand how my kids are learning.

My oldest has various issues with focus.  She can have incredible focus in some areas and a near complete lack of it in others.  For example, she could read a good book for at least an hour straight or more.  She might go to the bathroom, but I’m not sure she’d stop to eat.  On the other hand, doing tasks of responsibility and self care are harder for her to string together.  She may be able to keep up her enthusiasm of a clean room for a short while.  But eventually, she runs up against her natural tendancies to wander off on a string of tasks. 

My middle daughter seems to have taken to this habit and routine thing like a fish to water.  She’s the only one getting any rewards now, even though we don’t reward all the time anymore.  When she’s given a task, most of the time she will get right to it and stay on it until it is done, or at least a reasonably large chunk is done.  She tends to leave a trail of stuff behind her as she goes through the house, but her habits and routines seem to be strengthening.  While she doesn’t always get rewarded for her work, she seems to do well most of the time with her room. 

My youngest also has focus issues.  I can give her a little more leeway right now because she is just five (my oldest is ten).  …

I was prompted to write about this topic because of recent TV awards shows.  Mind you, I’m not watching them, but I do see the fashion photos and see articles about the shows online.  Also, the internet has provided pop stars, actors, and athletes about ten times the exposure they used to have twenty years ago.  Kids are seeing all kinds of people in the entertainment and sports industries around every corner.  You may know that your kids look up to their uncle or their helpful neighbor.  But who else are they being exposed to?

The spectacle, the weirdness, the over-the-top-ness of these award shows.  I guess I’m not their target audience anymore because I really don’t care enough to turn them on.  But certainly many kids and teens watch these kinds of shows, whether or not their parents approve.  Elvis may have been controversial in his time, but put his dancing up against the antics of Lady GaGa.  I mean, seriously – her weirdness has to be more shocking than Elvis’ hips.

I can’t remember the athlete’s name, but I remember what he said when someone asked if he was a role model. Basically he said he didn’t intend to be one (even though he was really famous).  In his mind, that may have absolved him of any need to present himself as a responsible person.  But here’s the fact – you don’t really decide whether or not you are a role model for kids. If any kid anywhere could possibly see what you are doing or hear about something you have done (good or bad), you could become their role model. This likelihood is about a thousand times stronger if you are even somewhat famous.  When this athlete said he didn’t intend to be a role model, it didn’t really mean he wasn’t one. And that’s what makes “famous people” role models so dangerous.

Here’s the $64,000 question. If you asked your kids who their role models are, what would they say? Who do …