photo credit: Ewan-M

For most of high school, I had a busy after-school schedule. Some days I was there through the evening because of a practice, a game, or an event. The distance between my school and home sometimes didn’t permit for me to touch base at home in between things. That was twenty plus years ago, and things aren’t much different for many families today. Kids are going everywhere, parents work late or at odd hours, and no one’s sure who’s coming or going. And despite this challenge, I’m going to emphasize how important it is to make the time somehow.

So what if your schedule seems impossible? How in the world will you ever pull it off? Well, before we get into the how, let’s take a closer look at the why.  Mealtime is a lot more than just consuming calories. It’s social time, it’s responsibility and routine time, and it’s a time for showing that we care enough to make the effort to be with each other. That’s why you have a family in the first place, isn’t it? To be together. It can be an important anchor in a child’s daily schedule and emotional universe. Children know what to expect, they can count on seeing certain important people, and they can enjoy something delicious to the senses together. Kids get used to sharing highlights of their day, maybe a laugh or two.

Some families do hold dinner later for their late-arriving parent so no one is left out. Or sometimes the kids are fed first, share a snack later when the late-arriving parent gets home, then the parents have a full meal together after the kids go to bed. One way or another, everyone eats and everyone is together.

Did I ever say that family mealtime always had to be supper? No – that’s where creativity comes in! If dinner time is too tricky, a family breakfast might be a better option. This can work well for a family with morning people in it. Or, if you have a more flexible lunch hour, see if you can slip out to your child’s school and have lunch with them on a regular basis. Even better if both parents can do it at the same time and for each child at some point. Maybe one parent and the kids meet the working parent somewhere for a supper break close to their office. Depending on your schedule, you can come up with several flexible ideas.

Even if you only get a few meals together during the week, you can always make the weekends a family meal priority time. No matter what, Friday nights are family pizza night, for example. Or weekend mornings are a family breakfast buffet. Regardless of exactly when it is, families need to find times to eat and socialize together. Thankfully, there are twenty one opportunities per week for this.

If you find that your family rarely eats together, you may have some reprioritization to do. Lack of family meals is probably a symptom of a bigger problem. Over-scheduling, overly demanding job that’s not family-friendly, too much distance between home and work, or something along those lines. If you intend to really have a family life, it’s important to be sure you create a lifestyle that is conducive to regular family time. I understand that I may be upsetting some people by saying that. But it just means that each of us has to be continually aware of how all the parts of our lives fit together. I’m just saying that if you really struggle to find  time to be together, something may not be fitting together well.

I am very curious about how people with challenging schedules and situations make family meals work. Please share your experiences or questions here in the comment section. Thanks so much for all your contributions!

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From Psych Central's website:
PsychCentral (February 4, 2010)

From Psych Central's Erika Krull, MS:
uberVU - social comments (February 4, 2010)

    Last reviewed: 4 Feb 2010