Alcohol and drug abuse is something we all want our kids to stay away from.  But like it or not, many kids in elementary school right now will start experimenting with drugs and alcohol within a few years.  Every kid is responsible for their own choices, but parents behaviors and words have a lot of influence when it comes to drugs and alcohol.

You don’t have to completely avoid alcohol is a parent to be a good role model.  If you do drink occasionally and responsibly, you can model that drinking is an adult-only activity to be done with care.  And of course, don’t endorse anything that’s illegal such as underage or illegal drug use.

If you don’t drink at all, then simply keep all alcohol out of the house and stress the legal age limit.  However, be aware that you cannot completely shelter your kids from the existence of drugs and alcohol in their community.  If you put them in a tiny cocoon, they may not handle this reality well when it affects one of their friends someday.  Sometimes, a kid raised in a strict household goes in the opposite direction in order to find balance.  So even if you stay completely away from alcohol, be sure your kids are informed enough to understand the risks and realities.

In addition to your own alcohol use, keep on top of your kid’s social life.  Be adamant about knowing who they are with, whether other parents know what’s going on, and if there will be any chance of drugs or alcohol being around.  Encourage sober socialization by having gatherings at your house where you can be in control the situation.  Unfortunately, some parents are negative role models in numerous ways.  Any sort of illegal drug use obviously shows disregard for the wall, family members, and safety.  A not so obvious problem is parents giving a nod and a link to their kids about having parties with alcohol.  Even if the parents don’t drink much themselves, being permissive on the age limit puts kids at risk.

Some parents believe that all kids …

You know when it’s one of “those” days?  You know, the one day all of your kids seem to forget everything, you have a blazing headache, and you were already running late coming home from work?

Pretty soon, consequences start flying off your lips.  No more TV, no friends over, no computer time, no this, no that.  Once you start seeing all the things going wrong, it can be tough not to come down on each and every infraction.  We’ve all done it, and we’ve all felt bad after doing it.  What’s the point.  When we parent like that, is it just to make us feel more in control?  Is it to teach them something?  And how many consequences are really going to stick here?

When you feel this avalanche coming on, it’s a great time to stop.  Just stop.  Stop and think about the common thread among all the problems.  Could it be that the kids are taking three and four reminders to follow your directions?  Are your kids getting distracted by their leisure activities?  Are they not being responsible with their homework?  Do your kids take forever to get to bed?  This isn’t meant to point fingers and make someone feel bad.  You are just trying to identify problem that needs to be solved the worst.

Let’s say you’ve decided that your kids need to be more responsible around the house — picking up shoes, taking care of dirty laundry, cleaning up the coats, etc. you find yourself barking lots of orders and listening to your kids whine about this stuff.  It’s understandable that your emotions would get rattled by all this commotion.  But rather than responding in a frustrated way to each incident, explain the big picture to your kids.  Tie all these loose ends together for them.  Help them see how each little problem adds up to the big problem.

Now your parenting can have purpose!  They can see what you are seeing.  Each incident is no longer isolated.  All you have to do is say, remember, you are working on your habit week …