My dad can still embarrass me by introducing me as his clever daughter – she has a masters degree you know – like that makes me something unusual. I love him to bits, and my mom, and they love me, but they had and have very high expectations of what I might do in the world.

I have an only son and have seen the same desire for perfectionism in him since he was very small. I am proud of him but the main thing is that I love him and would have done no matter how bright or able he might or might not have been. I also see the same tendency towards anxiety when faced with something new or stressful. So I tell him that he tried his best and he can’t compare himself to me, his dad or anyone else – but I know the message only goes in a little way.

I hear you there! I used to be obessed about things being just “right”
One day I realised I could not control everything nor should I even wish to.
Life has been easier since, although I am still somewhat “perfectionist” at heart!