Yesterday was the cumulation of too many expectations, errands that took too long, and kids with a need to scream.  I’m telling you what, if there’s one thing that pushes me toward my wits end, it’s the kids screaming at each other to get their way.

Unfortunately, my patience had already run out by early afternoon and I was then somehow incapable of putting a stop to it.  The problem was that I waited too long to do anything useful about it.  I had thought my
warnings were sufficient enough to make them realize I would “eventually” do something about it.  For the time being, I was just getting everyone through their paces in the morning so we could do stuff in the afternoon.

I was too focused on reaching my goals to realize that I was passing by opportunities to get my message through.  Had I been able to hover over myself while this was all transpiring, I could have seen the chance to intervene after the first scream.  I could have offered them something of value before going and allow the pressure of managing themselves help me get through the afternoon.

Instead of all these wise things, I allowed my emotions to do the parenting.  Not a great thing, by the way.  We didn’t cause any scenes and they were actually pretty good while we were out.  But I had allowed the morning to get away from me because I was way too goal oriented.  I had put all my mental well being eggs in one basket completion of my goals.  Had I forgotten that keeping the kids well-managed and happy would only help me out??  Apparently so.  I was in do-or-die mode.

Long story short, I didn’t sleep well last night because I was still emotionally reeling from the day.  Thankfully, the heavens blessed me with enough sleep to think much better today.  I calmly put their reward out in front of them, explaining that yesterday’s screaming was out of control and wouldn’t be happening today.  They didn’t exactly argue with me, so they must have agreed with my opinion!

Anyway, we were set to do things at home and I gave them very clear instructions in a calm even voice.  They enthusiastically went to work and made things fun along the way.  They did lots of group play behind doors and with much more acceptable voices out in the open.  I got some important things done at home and was still around to be with them when they took breaks from their epic pretend play plot.

All in all, a good lesson learned.  A hyper-focus on goals sometimes causes me to miss important cues about keeping the kids well directed and pleasant.  Hopefully the impact of these two days can keep me a little more flexible and ready for whatever comes.  All I can say is thank goodness for restful sleep and for the promise of
tomorrow being a new day.

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Give them the values they need | Parenting Help in Delaware (July 23, 2009)

    Last reviewed: 22 Jul 2009