The phrase “what if” is a favorite of my girls.  They love to put it in front of their wildest thought, the impossible fantasy, and sometimes their most feared outcome.  What if means something just might happen since they could think it in their mind.

Imagination is great, but young kids don’t always know how to handle it well.  When they use it for fun, it can make a whole world come alive for them.  But when kids are troubled by something, an active imagination can make things difficult.   The younger the child, the less distinct they are with reality and fantasy.  Worrying about moving to a new town, a sick grandma, or a dangerous storm can become too overwhelming.

If you have a child who is good at focusing on the present moment or who can move in and out of pretend play easily, they may not have such a problem with it.  They may feel worried but they can also take in the value of reality to balance it out.  The storm looks menacing on the radar screen, but the path shows that it will clearly miss their house.

The child who is more predisposed to rigid thinking or who is bright and gets creative about many outcomes may have more trouble.  A child with rigid thought patterns may simply get stuck in their own head over something upsetting.  They become distressed and keep running the loop over and over.  Also, highly creative children may wander over too many possible outcomes and become worried about very unlikely situations.

A child’s family is excited to sell their home and move into a bigger house in town.  The child gets continually upset at the prospect of moving to a different school.  However, the parents have no specific
plan to move out of their school district and there are bigger homes nearby for sale.  The parents assure their child they really want to stay in the neighborhood, but the worries remain.

Some children with worries need the help of a counselor.  If worries bother a child so much that their school work is poor, their sleep or appetite is bad, and they don’t seem to be enjoying life, then it’s probably time to see a professional.  If a child’s worries are annoying but don’t seem to disrupt their life too much, you can probably help your child manage them.

Worries steal our energy for the future.  They weaken us and make us feel vulnerable even though nothing has actually happened.  One very helpful thing is to keep your child focused on things they can do right
now.  Let them talk about their concern and give them any good feedback you can about it.  Then get them engaged in something useful, fun, or helpful right away.

Physically doing something different can help a person (child or adult) change a negative mood or focus.  They may still feel some worries even while they do the different activity, but they will learn that life doesn’t have to come to a screeching halt because they feel anxious or uncertain about something.  They can get through it and they can eventually get their mind off it for a while.

Worries are a natural part of human life, but children often don’t have the tools to derail these draining thoughts.  Show them you care by listening and then show them how to keep moving in spite of their worries.  They will learn how to endure and persevere through bothersome things.  Skills that will serve them well their whole life.

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From Psych Central's website:
PsychCentral (July 10, 2009)

    Last reviewed: 10 Jul 2009