Family Mental Health

Indulgent TV Parents Make Me Shake My Head

By Erika Krull, MS, LMHP
July 14, 2009

Parent Indulge Kids Pay Price

Here’s how this started.  I was folding laundry today and came across “My Super Sweet Sixteen”, which is apparently now on Style Network.  I have run across this show before on the very rare occasion I pause on MTV.  This show is like a bad accident - you know you should turn away and keep moving, but you can’t.  It’s both perplexing and disgusting all at once.

At first, I was getting upset at all the money figures this not-quite-sixteen year old girl was spitting out.  How much her entertainment costs, how much a present from her dad cost, and finally, how much her mega Hummer cost.  Then I stepped backand realized that people with some extra cash really have the right to spend it however they want.  That’s their business, and good for them for being so lucky and/or hardworking.

And then it wasn’t even the money that was so astonishing.  It was the dynamic of total indulgence that I found disgusting.  This girl seemed to know she could convince her dad to spend an excessive amount of money.  I didn’t see any hint of reverence or respect for how that money was available.  It was hers for the taking because she could push the right buttons.  She was also horrible to her boyfriend, treating him like a toy.

The Hummer took me to a new level.  The not-quite-sixteen year old said she wasn’t a very good driver, and the Hummer was a really safe vehicle.  It was custom made for her and was easily longer than a normal person’s garage stall.  So it’s like a bad young driver maneuvering a school van around.  But, since the parents are indulgent and the girl is technically of age to drive, she will get to be on the road.  It makes no sense whatsoever to me.

This isn’t the end of my thoughts on indulgent parents, but this post was getting way too long.  Come back tomorrow for the second post on indulgent parents.  Does this situation sound somewhat familiar, even if the finances are different?  Do you give in to your child too much, or have a family member or friend who does this?  I’ll address how this could happen and what you can do about it.


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