Take Personal Time As A Parent
I’m writing this post at the very end of my day. Often, that can be good because many writing ideas have crossed my mind by this time. Tonight, I could hardly grasp one thought long enough to even think about it. So many “situations” today that the good thing has become a bad thing. The kids whined about being bored, my husband had a bad day at work, and the truck needs more repairs than the value of the vehicle. Blah blah blah.
Before I attract another comment about the not-very-hard life of a stay at home mom, I’d like to just stop for a minute. It really doesn’t matter what the issues are, what your employment status is, or what your finances are. Everybody gets overloaded. And everybody with kids gets overloaded, and tends to dump it on their kids at some point. Stay at home moms and dads do that. Part and full-time workers do that. Grandparents caring for their grandchildren all day do that. This post applies to anyone and everyone in a parenting position.
Unlike the other post I wrote about bad schedule planning as the root of the problem, I’d like to focus on self care. How many of you parents really take good care of yourself with personal time? Do you have several half-finished books on your bedstand? Bubble bath soap that hardly gets used? A hobby that sits in the corner waiting for you to have time? Yes, yes, and yes. Guilty as charged on all accounts.
I’ve also noticed on What Not To Wear that many of the people who get nominated often do a lot for others but don’t prioritize themselves much. When they get overloaded, they put themselves further down the list of priorities instead of higher up. When I think of making Personal Time for myself, I think I make the mistake of assuming it has to happen only at the end of the day or that it has to be a huge hunk of time.
Perhaps it would be more useful to think in smaller increments and in unexpected places. Coffee breaks at work, lunch hours, a trip to the grocery store after work, at home when your child is coloring or taking a nap, doing an errand outside the office for work, volunteering to go get the oil changed in the car, etc.
All of these small bits of time can actually afford you some opportunity to have a personal escape. Bring your mp3 player when you go to the grocery store, Bring your novel for the 20 minute wait at the oil change place. Daydream at a favorite picture on your desk - like your last vacation, your last trip to the park with the kids, seeing your Italy calendar and thinking about a dream trip to Rome with your spouse. Take 5 minutes in the bathroom, but instead of “using” the bathroom, turn off the lights, light a candle, and sit on a comfy towel on the floor and just relax.
No, these things aren’t exactly three hours of uninterrupted time or a trip to the day spa. I’d love to say I could manage to get either of those things, but let’s be realistic! But they are little ways to steal some time for yourself. Or, if you keep yourself on the bottom of the list, you can look for an explosion sometime in the near future.
Me? I’m just hoping to learn something from my own lesson. I did a lot of on-the-spot responding today. Some requests were pretty whiny, others were better. Many seemed really ridiculous, some were necessary. Too much reacting, not enough purposeful planning for my own sanity. I’m sure all of you can relate to days like that - at work and at home. My iPod is loaded with some good stuff right now. I also have a few candles that haven’t been lit in a while. Hmm, I think tomorrow will be a better day already.
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