Parents today have a multitude of resources at their fingertips – books, magazines, podcasts, websites, DVDs, and family counselors.  But sometimes, the best advice is the simplest.  Here’s a sampling of the simplest and the best advice I’ve ever gotten from members of my family.

Work Ethic – Show Up On Time and Be Neat

My dad’s a farmer, so work clothes are pretty basic most of the time.  I worked for him as a teen spraying weeds from atop a long bar attached to the front of a small tractor.  We mostly had family members riding the bean bar, but occasionally another local kid got to ride for a few days.

It was then that Dad had a conversation about work ethic with these two elements – show up on time and be neat.  I sometimes forgot that Dad worked in Washington D.C. at a desk job for a while, also spent plenty of time in college around professors.  He couldn’t understand why kids, even for the bean bar job, would show up late or with unkempt scraggly hair.  Being late or physically unprepared showed a lack of respect.  He didn’t wear a tie to work, but he sure taught me how disgusted employers are when workers don’t take their job or appearance seriously.

Always Have A Little Color On Your Lips

Mom always has some lipstick around in her purse no matter where she’s going.  She’s not vain, just fair skinned.  I sometimes thought that got a little too fussy.  I mean, who cares at the small town grocery store anyway?  Plus, I tan easily – is it really worth it to bother having that on me at all times?

Welcome to the thirties decade of my life – practically zero lip color.  While I still do tan somewhat easily, I can see that my mom didn’t just use lipstick to offset her freckles and fair skin.  I look like a ghost if I don’t have just a smidge of color added to my lips.  Even worse, I look like I just don’t give a damn about me or anyone else that might see me.   I like to think I care about myself more than that would show.  So now, guess what’s in my purse everywhere I go?  My favorite shade of lip gloss.

Just Because

Oooh, this one burned me.  “Just because” wasn’t so much advice as it was a statement of position that garnered respect.  But as a child and teen, I just wanted to get my way.  I wanted to know why Dad was saying it, what gave him the right to end a conversation on that note.  Why did I always have to explain myself?  He got to say something as fuzzy as “just because” and got the last word.

While I was certainly no rebel child, I did get torked with the last word thing for a while.  I understood I wasn’t going to win it once he walked away.  It was a matter of respect that I let his last word stand.  But it
infuriated me that such a flippant sounding comment could really outweigh my fully fleshed out teenage girl line of reasoning.  Hmmm…I get it now.  And I’ve earned the right to say it to my kids with confidence and love.

What Simple Advice Did You Get From Family

As I’ve been writing, I’ve thought of a few more.  Maybe I’ll share those someday.  But in the meantime, tell me what simple pieces of advice you got from your family?

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    Last reviewed: 31 Jul 2009