Sometimes, we parents make discipline too hard for ourselves.  We come up with complex behavior charts, a million rules, and use methods don’t seem to make a dent.  When in doubt, try natural consequences.

You might think that some problems don’t have a good natural consequence.  Like getting bad grades – what could you do about the grades after they’ve already happened?  Well, it will help you to get a quicker handle on your kid’s grades.  Just checking the report card once a quarter might not be enough.  Many schools are using online systems where parents can see grades in nearly real time.  Most teachers now use email for quick correspondence.

If you take this approach, you can see a bad trend when it starts.  Once you notice something is going south, you can take note of what else is going on around your kid.  Are you allowing them a little too much friend time?  Are they being lazy?  Are they having vision, hearing, emotional, or drug problems?  As you can see, handling a child’s homework problem may not be as simple as grounding them for a month.

By now, you might also be noticing that giving a child discipline may not mean giving any sort of punishment.  Discipline is about teaching.  A consequence is simply a possible outcome from a situation, good or bad.  So if your child ends up having a vision problem, the natural consequence is that you’ll get them glasses.  You then discipline them about the care and proper use of their glasses.

A natural consequence of learning they have an emotional problem is more communication and possibly professional counseling.  A natural consequence of being lazy is to not earn the rights and privileges of people who work hard.  They earn their entertainment and freedoms as they maintain productive behaviors. Rather than just grounding them for X amount of time, you teach them responsibility and appreciation for their leisure time.  A natural consequence of staying up too late and talking in bed is to get them up early and make them really tired for bed the next night.  All of these interventions are thoughtful and done with a teaching attitude.

The topic of discipline is huge and way too complex to really cover here.  I’d like to expand on the examples above at a later time, but hopefully you get the idea that there are natural consequences and appropriate discipline options for all situations.  They may not be easy to do – you may very well need to step up your own self-discipline to do it right.  But it’s time well spent.  If nothing else, your display of focus and steady purpose can make a strong impression on your kid.

Tomorrow morning, I have an early appointment with two girls who’ve been up chatting little too late this evening.  I’m also looking forward to an easier bedtime tomorrow.

Comments

This post currently has one comment or trackback.
You can read the comments or leave your own thoughts.

Trackbacks

No trackbacks yet to this post.

    Last reviewed: 12 Jun 2009